A SILENT SPOUSE “MAY” NOT BE A BLESSING

A SILENT SPOUSE “MAY” NOT BE A BLESSING

After my session with a dear one, he went home and began to make adjustments in his mindset to certain things in their marriage. Some days later, the wife told him that when he saw that he maintained a grandstand on some of the issues they had, she stopped raising it or arguing about it.

The interesting part was when the wife said that she still goes ahead to do the things he keeps resisting behind his back, even if it means enjoying all alone by herself. I had a good laugh.

A young husband returned home one day and saw that his “silent” wife had packed her bags and left him to himself. He was in shock.

There are homes with silent disagreements but who keep patching things up for the “sake of peace”. Married folks, know this today: A silent spouse is not always a blessing- your family may be on the verge of a breakdown. He or she may just have withdrawn into his or her shell.

It takes some degree of blindness for you to think that you can actually control anyone. If their hearts are not with you, it is just a matter of time before they withdraw their hands.

Have you heard someone say before that, “I withdraw my hands from your matter”? Before the hands were withdrawn, the heart must have been withdrawn.

There are silent husbands- they feel ‘manipulated’ by the wife’s attitude, but they are quiet. Danger! Danger!

There are silent wives- they feel intimidated by the husband’s assertiveness, but they keep shut. Danger!

“My wife is so quiet” may be self-deceit.

“My man does not complain” may be an illusion.

They just have built coping mechanisms. The day you discover, it may be too late.

Silence does not always mean consent. Silence must not be mistaken for agreement. Fight for oneness.

It is hearts before hands!

II Kings 10:15 NKJV

“Is your heart right, as my heart is toward your heart?” And Jehonadab answered, “It is.” Jehu said, “If it is, give me your hand.” So, he gave him his hand, and he took him up to him into the chariot.

How do you attain this?

Do not shut down your spouse’s opinion. Do not make him or her feel stupid. Affirm their contributions as you negotiate the waters of decision-making.

Do not bury issues. Find the appropriate time to raise it in meekness. If you keep burying issues, you may soon bury the entire marriage.

Listen to what your spouse is saying and what they are not saying, also. Silence is heavy communication without words spoken.

Break the silence before it breaks your marriage.

temilOluwa Ola, Eruwa

There is love in sharing

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *