GODLY PRINCIPLES FOR MARITAL BONDING (5)

She asked, “Pastor, I do not like his church. I do not agree with the doctrine of the church. What should I do?” I asked her, “What church were you before you got married, and what church are you now?” I was a bit surprised.  It was quite a rare switch. I realized why she was struggling. 

“But did you not know his church before you married him?” I asked. She said she knew. I dropped the bomb- That is your church now. You should accept it as that. Settle there and grow with your husband. 

Beloved, doctrine can be quite sensitive when it comes to marital bonding. It can bind you together, and it can also divide you. If you still have the privilege of deciding before you marry, do not marry someone with whom you do not agree with his/her doctrine, or you do not “like” or agree with his/her pastors. Why is this important? That is what your spouse has seen all his/her life. Those are the people he/she has always listened to. Their thoughts will guide some of the decisions in your home, directly or indirectly. Be very clear about it. 

If you are married, as long as it is not a doctrine of demons, you will need to adjust and settle into the church. You must pursue understanding and trust God for grace to see beyond the things you struggle with. Why is this important? It will help you understand your spouse’s thoughts and patterns better when he or she makes certain decisions. 

For the men, it would be quite funny if you met her using earrings and wearing trousers and then you decide that she should stop so she can marry you. You are looking for a wife and not a convert. Do not stress yourself over someone with whom you have sharp and divergent doctrinal differences. Simply, marry someone who is your spec. 

For the ladies, save yourself the stress of explanation and unnecessary explanation. If you cannot submit to his church doctrine, cut off the relationship while you can now. Do not say, “We are trying to make it work.” It would stress you out. God help you if his parents are also under the same doctrinal patterns that you disagree with. The battles would be an extended war. Save yourself the trouble. 

Two people cannot walk together in peace and unity when they are not in agreement. 

Do you want a home like the Church at Corinth? They had strife and divisions. Do you know why? There were camps created in the church because of whose teachings they chose to follow.

I Corinthians 3:3-4 NKJV

For where there are…strife, and divisions among you…For when one says, “I am of Paul,” and another, “I am of Apollos,” are you not carnal? 

Walk away while you can before marriage.

Walk with him or her the moment you are married.  

Grace!

© temilOluwa Ola, Eruwa.