THERE ARE TREASURES LOCKED UP IN YOUR SPOUSE

As she kept mentioning all the habits she could not bear in her husband, I smiled and smiled. Why? I saw who I used to be in the early days of our marriage.

I was a bad listener. I would conclude her statements assuming I knew what she wanted to say. Most times, she would just tell me not to bother anymore.

Those days, If I ever picked up a house chore, it was like the typical African mother’s communication of your shortcomings like “Why did you leave the kitchen untidy?”

When it comes to conversations around finance, it was always touchy. My face would tighten up in defence. I felt that was how to keep our (or my) hard-earned money. Smiles.

But today, the story is different. There are treasures that we have both unlocked in each other.

Your spouse is a locked-up treasure. It will take wisdom, faith and understanding to unlock who they are and what they carry.

Song of Songs 4:12 ICB

[12] My sister, my bride, you are like a garden locked up. You are like a spring with a wall around it, a fountain that is closed.

There is beauty locked up. Have you ever looked at your wedding pictures after five or ten years? There are some that I have seen, and I am absolutely speechless.  The beauty that was locked up and invisible then has been given expression.

Have you seen a classmate that you all thought was not that handsome or beautiful after some years?

This is exactly what marriage is like. The first phase involves a lot of knowing and bonding. As you try to know each other, issues will be ironed out. Every issue you overcome takes you to newer depths of intimacy. Every issue that ends in a deadlock creates a gap that impacts your union.

Beloved, when you married your spouse, you married a treasure locked up in a garden. Just like an amazing gardener, you begin to tend your garden. You nurture it intentionally. You water it at the right time. You bend humbly to remove weeds. You are patient.

The rate of impatience in our generation is alarming. We want quick fixes instead of lasting patterns. 

My spiritual father shared about how the first two years of marriage were turbulent. They were already thinking of separation and divorce. It just seems like they would never bond. It took patience and a posture of meekness to find “the Mumu button” of my spiritual mum. If they did not tell us their stories, we would never have believed that they went through such a process. The love they both radiate, the chemistry and the vibe are amazing.

If you want the treasure, you must learn the art of patience. Your spouse has a “mumu button”. Find it.

What is a “Mumu Button”? I found this definition:

“Mumu button” is a common relationship slang used to describe a person’s love language, which when activated could make someone act in unusual ways.

When you have the right combination code, you will unlock the treasures in your spouse.  Finding it is the work. Deploying it when you should be unkind is the greater work.

May the Lord help you.

Your home is protected.

Every beauty you desire is in the locked-up version of your spouse. Unlock them!

temilOluwa Ola, Eruwa