HOW TO BUILD A RICH WORD CULTURE IN YOUR HOME (3)

I requested bread and fried egg with sausages. When Irewamiri called me to eat. I settled down to it with great expectation.  When I got to the table, I noticed that she had forgotten the sausages. I settled down to eat without saying a word. I wanted to point her attention to it, but the Spirit of the Lord told me not to say a word.

As I sat down to eat, I began to show appreciation for the great meal. Midway, Irewamiri joined me at the table. She took a portion of the meal. She noticed that the egg was slightly salty and that the sausage was missing. She said, “Darling, this egg is slightly salty and oh my God! I forgot the sausage also”.

I smiled and told her that I loved the meal either way. Why was I calm? The Holy Spirit had said to me, “The only reason you could see a fault is because she made an effort. Appreciate the effort and ignore the fault”. This has become our standard rule for communication.  We focus on efforts and not on faults.

If you will build a rich word culture, you must learn to ruminate on the best points about your spouse. No matter how bad you think they are, find something good about them.

Why is this important?

First, love does not keep a record of wrongs. Where did you see all these heavy loads about their shortcomings? How come you carry about a diary of their slips, errors and misjudgement?

Second, you must believe that the Lord is at work in his or her life, and you must be willing to cheer your spouse on as he or she grows.

When last did you notice something great about your spouse? Did you mention it? When last did you send a note of appreciation highlighting things they have done well for you? Ingratitude kills.

Third, it gives you the chance to show mercy to your spouse. Think about it this way: God knows even your weakness. God sees you in your worst form, but He is still gracious to you. God calls you His own. He even looked at you and called you His friend (can you imagine even Judas was in that meeting)

John 15:15 NKJV

No longer do I call you servants, for a servant does not know what his master is doing; but I have called you friends, for all things that I heard from My Father I have made known to you.

Do you know other things that God calls you? He calls you His chosen despite your shortcomings. Think about how God has lavished His love on you. If you understand God’s love and grace, there is nothing your spouse has done or can do that will shut down your bowels of grace and mercy. You will never find it easy to always use “divorce” as a tool of intimidation and negotiation.

Stop and think! What are the great qualities of my spouse? Would you choose to find at least one reason each day to be grateful for your spouse in the next month? Send a note of gratitude every day. You will be surprised that there will be a shift in your and your home.

What killed that loving atmosphere you had was ingratitude, especially towards your spouse.  It will be worse off if someone is already doing that for you. Take back your spouse. Speak kind words. Appreciate efforts. Overlook the faults.

temilOluwa Ola, Eruwa