THE HOLY SPIRIT- YOUR PARTNER IN BUILDING A GREAT MARRIAGE (5)
We were having what looked like a great personal time of bonding as a couple. It felt like a really great time but then I had a prompt from the Holy Spirit to ask my wife a simple question, “Darling, is all well? Are you fine?” It would have looked like a great moment but there is someone who is the discerner of the thoughts of men. I asked her with all sense of care and love.
Before I knew it, her beautiful eyes were full of tears. A drop rolled off her face and I had to wipe it. I pressed her further, and she mentioned how something I joked about some days back injured her heart deeply, and she had been thinking of how to raise it. I hugged my wife and apologized profusely. I would not have wanted to hurt her in any way. I explained to her. From that moment, we bonded without any form of check or restraint. What a delight!
There are husbands who sleep beside a woman who is in pain and still lack any form of awareness about it. Even in moments of intimacy that are meant to be “in-to-me-see,” they are still as clueless as anyone can imagine. They see nothing. You must not be so insensitive to the Holy Spirit and to your spouse that you cannot discern their pains at all.
You must be as sharp as Nehemiah’s boss:
“Early the following spring, in the month of Nisan, during the twentieth year of King Artaxerxes’ reign, I was serving the king his wine. I had never before appeared sad in his presence. So the king asked me, “Why are you looking so sad? You don’t look sick to me. You must be deeply troubled.” Then I was terrified,”
Nehemiah 2:1-2 NLT
Nehemiah serves the king and the king could notice something was wrong. Your relationship with your spouse should be more intimate than that. I have heard spouses say, “My husband has no idea of all these” or “My wife does not know I feel this way”. By training at times, you can tell when a woman is going through pain.
As I left a family some time ago, I told the husband while we were alone that if he did not want to lose his marriage, he should fight for friendship in their home. He said things were fine. He was not seeing it. It did not take weeks, there was a need to attend to a broken wife who had been managing her emotions for long, chosen to say few words and interact with her husband with caution. He was not seeing all of it. He thought he was in charge while he was asleep on the wheels.
The first person your spouse wants to tell anything and everything must be you. In order to achieve this depth of communication, you need the Holy Spirit. He will teach you patience. He will teach you the wise way to raise tough issues. He can show you the timing also. He will let you overcome that strange mood swing mixed with a caustic mouth. If you let the Holy Spirit, you will see a huge difference. Will you allow Him?
© temilOluwa Ola, Eruwa