GODLY PRINCIPLES FOR MARITAL BONDING (10)
A few days after our wedding, I walked to the table to eat. Irewamiri had prepared a bowl of ‘swallow’ (I cannot remember which) and soup. What I saw shocked me immediately. I saw a full bowl of soup. It was a deep bowl.
I asked her, “Who is this soup for? Is this for just the two of us?”. She replied in the affirmative. I felt it was a waste. Why? I was used to eating with just a little soup and stew on a flat plate. I was already wondering, “Who serves such a massive bowl of soup for just two people? Are we to drink it?”
She was also shocked at my reaction. She eventually said, “That it how we eat in our house. The soup must be abundant. You can drink it”. For me, it felt like a waste. It was a clash of our upbringings.
What started as a desire to please her husband led to a rather cold evening. We had some of those clashes.
Beloved, always remember that you are from different backgrounds. On the journey, be willing to build together as beginners. Don’t allow your ideologies, patterns or philosophies from your different background build a wall between the two of you.
Families are unique. Personalities are different. Do not force your wife to become like your mother. Do not force your husband to become like your father. Give each other the room and opportunity to grow.
The background of Moses and Zipporah caused a huge clash. They did not agree about circumcision. Where there is disagreement, the family becomes stranded in many areas.
Exodus 4:24 NLT
On the way to Egypt, at a place where Moses and his family had stopped for the night, the Lord confronted him and was about to kill him.
If the matters are not properly handled, it can lead to hurt. Communicate till your spouse understands.
Exodus 4:25-26 NLT
But Moses’ wife, Zipporah, took a flint knife and circumcised her son. She touched his feet with the foreskin and said, “Now you are a bridegroom of blood to me.” [26] (When she said “a bridegroom of blood,” she was referring to the circumcision.) After that, the Lord left him alone.
We know Zipporah left the scene right afterwards. Moses did not have his wife beside him throughout his assignment to the nation of Israel.
Be patient with each other. There was a time we also had mattress issues. If we sleep on a soft mattress, I wake up with back aches. If she sleeps on a hard mattress, she wakes up with a backache. We were patient till we found answers. We have never slept apart in over ten years, except when one party travels.
To bond, you must be patient enough to know that your spouse will do things by default and be wise enough not to throw tantrums.
To bond, let the leading of the Lord be superior to personal sentiments. When you both meet in the will of God, you will both soar on the wings of love.
May your home remain blessed. Amen.
© temilOluwa Ola, Eruwa.
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