A BAD IMAGE DOES NOT MEAN YOU WILL GET IT RIGHT
There was a brother who vowed that he would never repeat his father’s mistakes. He hated his father for his terrible attitude- the man beats his wife. He vowed that it would never happen to him. At a point, he was encouraged to forgive his father, but he found it difficult. He could not.
Some years later, as a married man, he did all he could, but he ended up beating his wife also. He did worse. He married another wife. He was still beating her up. He married a third wife, and he was still beating her up.
He then cried out to another brother, “I am worse off than my Dad. I vowed never to be like him, but I am worse off now”. He learnt his lessons. He forgave his Dad. He repented of pride. His journey of recovery then began.
Do you remember the Samaritan woman?
John 4:17-18 NLT
[17] “I don’t have a husband,” the woman replied. Jesus said, “You’re right! You don’t have a husband— [18] for you have had five husbands, and you aren’t even married to the man you’re living with now. You certainly spoke the truth!”
She already had five husbands. Now, she was cohabiting with a sixth one who is not even her husband.
Would it not make sense that she should have learnt some lessons after her first marriage and not make another mistake? Well! How about after the second marriage? Should she not have gotten at least a “Certification in Marital Order”?
Wait! She had a third marriage. That should have given her automatically a Bachelor’s Degree in Marital Affairs.
How about the fourth marriage? If it were an academic degree, she should have a Master’s Degree in Family Systems.
Then she had a fifth marriage? By then, she should have a Doctorate in Marriages that Last. Then she eventually got into a sixth undocumented marital affair.
If they ask you for a counsellor, she should teach you some things, right? That is where we all genuinely miss it. A bad experience is only a bad experience. It does not confer on you the wisdom that they teach and impart the right way to get things done.
There are a lot of Samaritan Women Emergency Marriage Counsellors all over Social Media now. You must be careful.
Do not ignore the voices and images of those who have mastered the art of bonding and building a lasting marriage because of a very visible Samaritan who only has hurts.
A bad example does not automatically become a right image. They are not the same thing.
It is the picture that you have seen that you can repaint. If there is no image before you, you will use your imagination. It does not always work.
May you enjoy the blessing of the right examples. Amen.
© temilOluwa Ola, Eruwa
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