RECOVERING FROM A FALL (6) – RESTORING TRUST

I called for another reason, and then he mentioned that he was travelling. It just occurred to me that I should ask for details. When he gave the details, I asked, “Did you think about it deeply?” He paused and asked why. I said, “Take a better look at that decision to travel with a female”. He got the memo.

Think about this in a moment- If you are just regaining trust, you have a lot of work to do. There are things others can do, and it would raise no doubts at all, but you cannot do it. Why? You already have a bad reputation in that area.

For instance, if you committed adultery, you cannot start calling everyone, “Sweetheart” or “Darling” or start evangelism at a “Brothel” or “Red Light Zone” or “Password your phone” or “Keep choosing late night with the boys” or “Choose a trip alone with the same male boss or business partner”. The person who does not want to get burnt but keeps rubbing petrol on himself will soon be roasted. There are instances where people had to change jobs because of the importance of regaining trust.

For a while, you would have to do a lot to regain trust. You have a spouse to win his or her trust. You have a family whose wounds your actions must heal. At this point, do not let your ego get in the way. This is not the time to be selfish.

It is not just time that heals wounds, truth does! You have to be truthful. If you are not perceived to be truthful in your dealings, time will not heal the wounds; it will rather open fresh wounds.

Take consistent steps in the right direction. Build a relationship of accountability where you can second-guess yourself and your decisions. This could look like a small step, but it is needed.

It was Nathan who confronted David with the truth. He became an integral part of David’s journey from that day on.

He saw the death of the seed of adultery:

II Samuel 12:15 NKJV
[15] Then Nathan departed to his house. And the Lord struck the child that Uriah’s wife bore to David, and it became ill.

He came with a word for the seed that would inherit the throne:

II Samuel 12:24-25 NKJV
[24] Then David comforted Bathsheba his wife, and went in to her and lay with her. So she bore a son, and he called his name Solomon. Now the Lord loved him, [25] and He sent word by the hand of Nathan the prophet: So he called his name Jedidiah, because of the Lord.

He was the one in the room when Bathsheba walked in to request the throne on Solomon’s behalf.

I Kings 1:22 NKJV
[22] And just then, while she was still talking with the king, Nathan the prophet also came in.

David wanted to make a great move. Nathan agreed it was a great move, but God said, “Hold on”.

I Chronicles 17:2-4 NKJV
[2] Then Nathan said to David, “Do all that is in your heart, for God is with you.” [3] But it happened that night that the word of God came to Nathan, saying, [4] “Go and tell My servant David, ‘Thus says the Lord: “You shall not build Me a house to dwell in.

Do you have that person who can help you process your thoughts and actions while rebuilding trust? It is a key part of recovering from a fall.

If you are surrounded by foolish counsel, you will make foolish decisions. If you are surrounded by wise counsel, even a burnt home or reputation can be regained!

Who is in your circle?
Are you weighing your actions?
Is it rebuilding or killing trust?

© temilOluwa Ola, Eruwa

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