ACCESS IS EASY TO ABUSE

Back in the day, I would often have my monthly retreat at my dad’s ministry office. It had the church hall, peaceful surroundings, and even rocks that made for a great place of prayer and reflection.

Dad would give me his office key and say, “If you ever need a place to use, you can use my office.” I’d open his office, sit at his desk, and study or work.

About three months into this routine, the Holy Spirit asked me a question one day: “Whose chair are you sitting on?” I replied, “My dad’s chair.”

The Holy Spirit asked again, and I realized it was a serious matter. I paused, thought about it, and then said, “I’m sitting on the chair of the Senior Pastor of this ministry.” He asked, “Are you the senior pastor?” I jumped up immediately. That was the last time I ever sat in that chair. It also changed my relationship with my dad in many ways.

When people behave dishonourably, it’s either because they’re untrained or have been wrongly taught. Honour is taught.

Psalm 34:11 (GNT) says, “Come, my young friends, and listen to me, and I will teach you to honour the LORD.”

Beloved, access is the greatest gift a man can give to you. If you don’t know how to handle it, you’ll be locked out for life. If you ever get the privilege to sit in the front row of someone’s life, especially a leader or mentor, make sure you sit there with a first-class mind!

Dear husband and wife, treat your spouse with great honour. You have rare access, and it’s a privilege. Don’t treat them like they’re nothing.

Michal, the daughter of Saul and the wife of David, knew David from the days he was a shepherd boy in the palace. She watched him rise through the military ranks and saw her father, Saul, plot to kill him. She knew David in his “small boy” moments but didn’t connect to the kingship, priesthood, or prophetic aspects of his life. The image of that “shepherd boy” never left her, so when David worshipped God, she despised him and never accepted his priesthood.

Do you know David was on his way home to bless his family when he encountered an angry wife? Michal despised David’s priesthood and died childless. Conversely, Rebecca accepted Isaac’s priesthood, and her barrenness ended.

You can associate with the blessed and anointed, and it doesn’t affect you. Why should the son of a prophet die in debt, yet his wife sought the same man he served and received a miracle?

If you’re close to a pastor, double your walk of honour. You’ll see their humanity, but never take it for granted. You’ll see flaws, but don’t let them lead to offence. Remember, they’re human. Honour them. Honour isn’t man-worship; it’s appreciation of differences.

This is the rule: anytime you see a man’s faults, remember it’s because you have access. Access is a gift.

If you’re married to a pastor, it’s a tougher demand. It’ll be challenging at times to know when to relate with him as your pastor or your spouse. Be discerning.

People can share testimonies about how your spouse has been a blessing, and you might wonder if they’re simply lying. Some people never stopped seeing Jesus as the carpenter’s son. Know when relationships have shifted and align with them.

Resolve it quickly. Decide whether you want just a “My daddy” relationship or also the “priestly blessing in his mouth.” Do you want “My baby” treatment or do you want your husband to speak as a priest? Do you value the grace of God on your wife or do you trample on her?

Don’t let access lead to familiarity.

©️temilOluwa Ola, Eruwa