BE FREE FROM PRETENDING

I once had a roommate who spent hours on the phone with his mom, boasting about foreign countries, laptops his uncle had sent, and all sorts of impressive things.

One day, he told his mom, “Mommy, I’ve told you I don’t want to go on summer break. I’ll stay with my friends in Nigeria.”

One day, another roommate checked his call logs and discovered that all he had been doing was pretending. There were no logs showing any real activity. Many of his stories were just to impress us.

Set yourself free from the pressure to impress. Admitting you don’t know something or don’t have something isn’t weakness; it’s a path to greatness. That’s how we learn wisdom. You might look foolish to others, but you’ve gained wisdom and strength.

Beloved, don’t be pressured to impress anyone. Your life is your journey, and you should own it. Don’t build a monument that doesn’t exist. If you haven’t travelled abroad before, it’s nothing to be ashamed of. Don’t tell stories about trips that never happened.

You don’t have to fake it until you make it. Remember David’s words when he was to marry the daughter of King Saul:

When Saul’s men said these things to David, he replied, “How can a poor man from a humble family afford the bride price for the daughter of a king?”1 Samuel 18:23 NLT

Don’t pretend to be someone you’re not. Don’t deny your poor parents while claiming a rich uncle. When people discover you’re a fraud, you’ll lose the reputation you’re trying to protect.

If you’re living on borrowed money, don’t pretend to be living on inherited wealth. The son of the prophet didn’t say, “The ax-head is no big deal. I can afford another.” When the ax-head fell, he cried out, “Alas, it was borrowed.” That’s how he got help.

Own the process. If your income will be insufficient to purchase party supplies like aso-ebi, let your friend know. A friendship built solely on shared clothing isn’t truly meaningful. Avoid overcharging for party supplies to fund a dream wedding that’s beyond your means. Be real.

Years ago, a young man noticed his friend’s phone balance and asked, “Do they give you pocket money on your phone line?” Beloved, our journeys are not the same.

Be simple, be real, and stay true to yourself. If you’re constantly pressured to impress others, consider changing your social circle.

©️temilOluwa Ola, Eruwa