HOW TO BUILD A RICH WORD CULTURE IN YOUR HOME (2)

In the first few months of marriage, we had occasions to disagree. One of the questions I often ask Irewamiri is, “What is the Spirit of the Lord saying to you now?” She would not respond, and our disagreements would linger for hours.

Oftentimes, after we had resolved the issue, I would go back and ask the question again. Her response is always amusing. She says that the Spirit of the Lord was telling her to apologize about the matter or perhaps to let the matter slide and forgive instead.

Then, I would ask her why she did not follow that prompt. She would say, “I wanted you to feel the hurt and the pain also.” We would laugh about it. We are both quick to love and quicker to forgive now.

It feels good to desire that the other person eats a little bit of their own medicine. You want your spouse to feel that pain. Why should you be the only one? It can feel good, but it is not godly. It is pure disobedience. You are fleshly and proud of it.

If you want to build a rich word culture, you must refuse to get back at your spouse. You are not trying to build a toxic environment; rather, you are to build an environment of trust rooted in love. You cannot use toxicity to build an atmosphere of trust.

What are the things you can do to keep toxicity out of your marriage and home?

Please stop using sarcasm to communicate. Sarcasm refers to the use of words that mean the opposite of what you really want to say, especially in order to insult someone, show irritation, or just to be funny. It hurts your spouse more when you do it regularly in a community that respects them.

Sometimes, it is using hurtful humour. Others may be smiling about it, and even your spouse joins you in smiling, but deep within, a wound has been inflicted, and it hurts.

Please stop shouting at your spouse or your children. You do not like it when people shout at you, so why is it hard for you to stop shouting as well?

This is what the Bible says:

“A soft answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.”
Proverbs 15:1 NKJV
Proverbs 15:1 TPT

“Respond gently when you are confronted, and you’ll defuse the rage of another. Responding with sharp, cutting words will only make it worse. Don’t you know that being angry can ruin the testimony of even the wisest of men?”

Finally, if you want to build a rich word culture in your family, do not use ‘Fine’ to shut down communication. You know things are not fine. Stop it. Find the strength in the Lord and in love to speak. You miss out on communication channels when you shut down. Mention whatever is wrong. Share it in love. You will become better with time.

‘One-word answers’ will not lead to that great world of love you want to see. Throw it out of the window. You can do better.

© temilOluwa Ola, Eruwa.