THE HUSBAND THAT WILL BE RESPECTED 3

We were arguing about a matter. It was becoming a bit intense. At a point, I raised my voice on Irewamiri. Once I realised what I did, I instantly apologised. I said, “Even though we are arguing, I should never have raised my voice at you”. Then, we continued our argument again (Smiles).

A husband who will be respected is the one who is not harsh with his words. Your words are meant to build up, bless and stir up faith in your spouse.

My spiritual father said to me after we had a conversation about a matter, “Son, when you are discussing this issue with your spouse, and it seems to get heated. Say to her, ‘Darling, this matter has become heated. Can we continue the conversation sometime later? Just know that I love more than the issue at hand. The issue will come and go, but I will always have to be here with you. Hug her and take a break”.

Personally, I have practised this a couple of times, and it has worked. It has preserved the warmth in our marriage.

Dear husband, even when you need to be firm, let it be with kind words and not harsh words. Paul, while writing to the Colossian church, said these words to husbands:

Colossians 3:19 NLT
Husbands, love your wives and never treat them harshly.

Do you know what toughens us as men? The weight of responsibilities.

Colossians 3:19 AMP
Husbands, love your wives [with an affectionate, sympathetic, selfless love that always seeks the best for them] and do not be embittered or resentful toward them [because of the responsibilities of marriage].

Are you becoming angry because of the bills, or are you still retaining the joy of the Lord?

When you see supplies dwindling, do you also feel the impact, or have you learned to stay faithful?

Seeking the best for her means it must be the best in line with God’s Word and will for your home. You can lead in love and with warmth. You can be firm and loving simultaneously. Do not let being firm become an act of wickedness.

If you master this, you will have learnt the delicate balance between being a leader and being a lover. You would lead in love and still with grace. Love must not turn you into a “Yes man” because you are always avoiding a disagreement. Your wife still wants a leader. She just wants one who does it in love.

I know a lady who broke up with a “yes-man”. She said she did not want to marry a man she would be controlling. Today, she is married to a very loving and principled man.

Be firm. Be loving. Do not be harsh. Make sure you are leading.