THE KEY TO A TRUSTWORTHY AND UNITED MARRIAGE

A young lady who had some level of access to us once approached my wife and said, “I want to tell you something, ma.” Irewamiri asked what the matter was. Instead of mentioning the issue, she asked my wife, “Has Pastor not told you? Maybe I should wait for him to tell you”. Irewamiri was wondering what the matter was that needed to be kept in such secrecy. 

Hours after this, I was with Irewamiri and called the young lady to correct her about certain things. We spoke somewhere else. I did not know anything had transpired earlier. I spoke with her about what we had decided to correct her about. But with what happened earlier, my wife was wondering what the matter was again that we had to discuss without her. 

That was the dark spot that the devil used. Our home went cold for some days until I got the full information about what had transpired earlier, and we talked through it. Afterwards, I decided that there would be no dark spots that the devil could take advantage of. 

Non-disclosure, half-disclosure, or coloured disclosure will always leave room for the devil to build a nest in your marriage. The devil is already cooking a meal; if you hand him the final ingredient by holding on to philosophies like “It is not everything you tell your spouse” or “You better not tell her or him the amount you earn,” you would have a devilish concoction ready. Trust me, you cannot dine with the devil and smile with your spouse. 

The fact that you acted innocently on incomplete information does not exclude you from the consequence of such an act. Abimelech acted in innocence, but it still triggered divine wrath: 

But that night God came to Abimelech in a dream and told him, “You are a dead man, for that woman you have taken is already married!” Didn’t Abraham tell me, ‘She is my sister’? And she herself said, ‘Yes, he is my brother.’ I acted in complete innocence! My hands are clean.”  Genesis 20:3 ,  5 NLT

You cannot build a great home when you give your siblings instructions like, “Do not let my wife know or Do not let my husband know.” You have simply told them that your spouse cannot be trusted or that you are not on the same page. 

Interestingly, some people play these games with their children. The children are now confused as to how to manage information. Some deliberately plant seeds of distrust that leads to hatred. 

There are homes where dark spots have torn apart the fabric of trust. Third parties with terrible intentions will feed on dark spots in your marriage. You can begin to act on lies supplied by third parties. You can begin to react to things that do not exist. 

Kick out the devil and his agents by ensuring you have nothing to hide. Deal honestly and honourably with your spouse. Do not hide things from them. Be truthful at all times. Let your children say, “There is nothing you say to Dad that Mum would not know.” Let third parties know that you are always on the same page. This is not just about wearing uniform clothes; it is about having unity of hearts. Let your hearts be closely knitted so there is no room for dark spots. 

©️temilOluwa Ola, Eruwa.