THE MARRIAGE COVENANT (3): THINGS YOU MUST NEVER SAY

A couple were going through a tough season. It led to a drastic drop in their sexual intimacy. The frustrated husband looked at his wife one day and said, “Hope you know that there are other women outside”. What a threat. 

Another woman who felt unappreciated by her husband also said, “I am sorry, but he should know that there are guys who are hitting on me all the time”. She already got it up to there. 

Another one said, “I regret marrying you”. Yet another said, “If she wants to leave, she should pack her things and leave”. Yet another said, “Maybe since she wants to always take the lead, she should kill me and take the lead”.

When the covenant is not understood, couples misbehave. Covenants are made by words; crises are also sustained by words. There are things that would never come out of the mouth of a man or woman who knows the weight of the covenant. 

Your words are prophecies. A man who says, “One day I will slap you,” is prophesying. He will surely end up doing it. 

The marriage covenant is a lifetime covenant that requires dying to self (self-sacrifice) and commitment till death. Marriage is actually two funerals and one wedding. If two people who are indeed dead to self get married, they have a living and lively marriage. But when two people whose flesh is alive get married, they will have a dead or dying marriage. 

In a marriage where the covenant is understood, there is a “despite it all” posture. There is a “despite all this” commitment. 

Leviticus 26:44 NLT

“But despite all this, I will not utterly reject or despise them while they are in exile in the land of their enemies. I will not cancel my covenant with them by wiping them out, for I am the LORD their God.

But despite all this…

I will not reject or despise my spouse…

I will not cancel my covenant with him or her…

Are you ready for a “despite it all” posture in marriage? If you enter (or have entered) marriage with an escape route in mind, you will frustrate your spouse. If you are in with half your heart, you will frustrate your spouse. 

Are you in for life? 

Are you there for “till death do us part”? 

Are you there for a while, and on a conditional basis? 

Will you be patient in the midst of storms? 

A woman had been ill for a long time. Her husband had to abstain from sexual intimacy for years until she became whole. It was tough, but they won. He had a “despite it all” posture. He leaned on God’s grace to produce the fruit of the Spirit needed for the season.

Sit with great couples, and you will be surprised that they weathered storms to get to where they are. Some marriages you admire today have their own turbulent times, but they won together and became stronger at last. 

Do not let your mouth scatter your marriage.