THE MARRIAGE COVENANT (7) – NO LONGER ABOUT “MINE” BUT “YOURS”

Some interesting things happened when we first got married:

First, we discovered that we loved different forms of mattresses. Irewamiri would wake up and complain about backaches while I slept soundly. When we changed our mattress, I started to experience back pain. We eventually figured it out.

Second, I would sleep with the lights on. She prefers it off. Now, I can sleep with the light off, and she tries to sleep even if the light is on. 

What about meal differences? One of her early amazing attempts at cooking a kingly meal for me ended up as an issue just because of the fish. Now, I eat all manner of fish. 

What about personality differences? Now I make her talk while she has succeeded in making me a bit calmer and composed. 

It takes two to make a covenant. In entering into a covenant, there are some of your “rights” that you would let go. If it is always about having your way and enforcing your rights, you are not ready for a covenant. 

Let’s hear Paul, the Apostle, speak about this: in speaking about the marriage bed, he emphasized the place of your rights versus my rights: 

The marriage bed must be a place of mutuality—the husband seeking to satisfy his wife, the wife seeking to satisfy her husband. Marriage is not a place to “stand up for your rights.” Marriage is a decision to serve the other, whether in bed or out.

1 Corinthians 7:2-4 MSG

Marriage is not a place to “stand up for your rights”. Marriage is a decision to serve the other. This means that if you are selfish in making this decision, you are not ready for the marriage covenant. Even though your rights must not be abused, you must be willing to shift grounds to make a strong covenant.

When Joshua and the nation of Israel entered into a covenant with the Gibeonites, the next battle in which the Gibeonites were attacked automatically became the responsibility of the Israelites. In the covenant, your spouse’s battle is automatically yours. Their shortcoming becomes yours. 

That posture of doing your own thing in your own way and insisting on it is killing your marriage. When would it change?