THE MARRIAGE COVENANT (9): YOUR SPOUSE OR YOUR PARENTS?

There was a day my Dad called me for a conversation. When I walked into his room, he looked at me and said, “Where is your wife? You are both one. She should be a part of all I am telling you now.” He understands the power of becoming one in marriage. My father-in-law also treated me this way when he called us for a conversation some years ago.

There are times you see debates about who you will choose between your wife and your mother. As much as they are both significant relationships, the relationship you entered into through marriage is a covenant. You are in covenant with your wife or your husband. You are not in a covenant relationship with your parents. You are not in a covenant relationship with your children.

If you are a believer, if your heart is renewed, if you submit to the authority of God’s Word, you will see that it’s not a matter of superiority but of difference. It’s not a competition between your wife and your mother; they are two unique relationships that you must treat in their own unique ways.

Malachi 2:14 (AMPC) says:

Yet you ask, Why does He reject it? Because the Lord was witness [to the covenant made at your marriage] between you and the wife of your youth, against whom you have dealt treacherously and to whom you were faithless. Yet she is your companion and the wife of your covenant [made by your marriage vows].

When did you enter into covenant? The day you got married.

How did you enter into the covenant? When you exchanged marital vows.

The covenant relationship is superior to any other.

Think about those who join evil cults. They enter into strange covenants that make them sacrifice those dear to them. The evil covenant they form with their cult members is perceived to be superior to all others.

Thank God for the blood of Jesus. Thank God for the covenant of marriage. It is a good covenant, not an evil one. However, it still demands that you honour the person you are in covenant with. It calls for prioritizing your covenant relationship with your spouse.

It is right there in the beginning:

Genesis 2:23-24 NKJV

And Adam said: “This is now bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh; She shall be called Woman, Because she was taken out of Man.” [24] Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and they shall become one flesh.

You must be bold enough to leave. Leaving does not mean neglecting. While the bride of Christ (the church) was being pulled out at the cross, He still gave directions that John should take care of Mary. You do not neglect your parents, but you must understand that the covenant of marriage is different from the bond of parenting. Respect your parents and hold your spouse dear. Honour your parents and be firm yet loving when it involves your spouse. For instance, if they invite you to a family gathering and say things like, “We do not want her or him there,” it indicates they do not want the two of you. Make this clear.

We teach our children that there is a difference between marriage and family. We tell them that just the two of us make up the marriage. They are products of the marriage, not part of it. The roles must be clear. I will choose my wife again and again over my children. I will not neglect them, but covenant is stronger.