THE WEIGHT OF WORDS IN MARRIAGE AND FAMILY LIFE (5)

It was a pretty interesting week. Irewamiri and I had quite some intense disagreements. Amazingly, it was happening at the end of a personal fast. We struggled through it that week. We spoke quite some weighty words to one another. I remember telling her, “I am afraid of you”. She responded that she was tired of me and that I should let her be.

When I eventually sought the counsel of my parents in the faith seeking wisdom to navigate the season, the first rebuke I got was “Never say you are afraid of your wife.  There is no fear in love. Do not give the devil an advantage”. I repented immediately.  The strange atmosphere was nipped in the bud. We enjoyed peace. Amazingly, it was a third-party issue that triggered all the strain.

There is a cycle that the devil adopts, and it works effectively in breaking down communication in relationships. It is quite simple but dangerous:

Stage 1: Someone gets angry about a situation and begins to react.

Stage 2: The spouse notices and makes an attempt to apologise but the offended does not give any attention and rebuffs all peace moves.

Stage 3: The spouse gives up and withdraws into his shell. While in withdrawal, he or she feels disappointed and begins to nurse anger.

Stage 4: The offended gets calm and is ready for a conversation and begins to broker peace moves stylishly.

Stage 5: The spouse is already angry and does not want to sit to have any conversation.

Eventually, both of them remain angry. It is an effective weapon. Many have remained in that cycle for many years. They call it a breakdown of communication. 

Never allow the devil to weaponise words and thoughts in your marriage. Make sure to walk the path of meekness. Be humble enough to break that cycle.  Do not let the devil get you into a corner while he loads your mind with negative thoughts about your spouse. Cut that cycle immediately.

The truth I have learnt is that the earlier you break the cycle, the better it is. If you allow it to linger, it may get tougher to break the cycle.

Obey the first prompt to apologise even when you do not feel like you are the one who is wrong. There are things we do so that the enemy will not have an advantage and peace can reign.

This is the word of the Lord to you:

Ephesians 4:26-27 NLT

[26] And “don’t sin by letting anger control you.” Don’t let the sun go down while you are still angry, [27] for anger gives a foothold to the devil.

Anger is the devil’s ambassador. He sends it as an emissary anywhere he wants to control territories. Is he gaining territories in your mind and in your marriage? Deny him that working space now.

temilOluwa Ola, Eruwa.