In the era just before mobile phones became popular, my mum travelled to see my sister at the university. She returned with great joy and I heard as she shared with my Dad: 

Upon arrival at the school, they went to look for her in her hostel. When they announced her name over the Public Address system, another student came out who was not her daughter. The Hostel Warden said she should be in the academic area most likely the library.

They proceeded to the library. She described my Sister to the attendant who said, “I think I know her. She came in some minutes ago. I know where she sits to read.” He returned with her a few minutes later. Mum returned home so proud of her daughter. 

Friends, one of the ways that you earn trust in life is by living a life of accountability. 

Dear husband, can your wife say for sure where her husband is at per time? Do you know that when you come back home late and you are questioned, you do not have to get angry? The response to that question is not “cover-up anger.” She is asking because she is worried about you. But if you keep that pattern, she will soon start asking because trust is being eroded. If you refuse to change and she keeps quiet, you did not win at last. Perish that thought! You are already losing your wife and your marriage. 

There are young ones who complain that their parents do not trust them. Have you forgotten that trust is earned? How will they trust you when you bolt your door behind like a strong room right under their roof? They have to wait for about three minutes before you get to the door. Do you know they have questions already? 

Now you really think they will trust you when you say you are going to a place. Why? You have not earned it. Trust is earned. 

If you are in a church family, you will also need to earn that trust. You cannot be trusted with responsibilities when you appear and disappear at will. Even your ministry head cannot speak about where you are. 

People who lose their place and lost trust always begin with “hiding things.” That was how Samson began his decline:

And the Spirit of the Lord came mightily upon him, and he tore the lion apart as one would have torn apart a young goat, though he had nothing in his hand. But he did not tell his father or his mother what he had done.

Judges 14:6 NKJV

From that singular action, his decline began. It was easier to return to the same place. 

After some time, when he returned to get her, he turned aside to see the carcass of the lion. And behold, a swarm of bees and honey were in the carcass of the lion.

Judges 14:8 NKJV

He did not stop there. He is now comfortable eating honey from the dead carcass and also shares it: 

He took some of it in his hands and went along, eating. When he came to his father and mother, he gave some to them, and they also ate. But he did not tell them that he had taken the honey out of the carcass of the lion.

Judges 14:9 NKJV

Embrace the culture of full disclosure. Do not say half-truths. Do not get lost in strategic rationalizing. There are times I would buy Irewamiri a gift and she would ask, “Darling, where did you get the fund for this?” I have to say it all. 

One of the ways to survive the devil’s antics is to build a strong sense of accountability. Sin does not always start as sin. It begins with breaking codes of consecration. You will do things that are not sinful but are also not expected of you. If you cannot be confident to mention it, do not start it at all. 

It will help you. 

temilOluwa Ola, Eruwa.

There is love in sharing

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