The first time he visited her church. It was a prayer meeting and at a point, they were requested to bring out water so it could be used as a point of contact in prayer. He was not too comfortable with it so he did not respond to her “kind” gesture of having a bottle of water. The wife-to-be noticed and was not pleased with his action.

Some days later, she had cause to be in his church also. It was a communion service. When it was time to receive and partake of the communion bread and wine, she also refused to partake of it.

I know you are in love now, but do you know that the doctrinal appeal you ignore today can become a major issue in the days to come? If you cannot accept his or her doctrine wholeheartedly, you need to ask yourself sincere questions again. Doctrine can be a binding and also a very divisive issue.

Dear brother, for instance, you saw that she wears trousers and the church she attends has no issues with it, but you now want to force her to stop wearing it because you do not believe in it? What were the two of you doing in courtship? You then insist she must do it because of your parents and your church because you do not want to be viewed as a rebel.

Dear sister, you saw that everyone around him does not wear trousers and you kept appearing the way they want to see you throughout courtship “because you are in love” and you did not ask questions. Beloved, you have not done well also. You thought it was not a big deal.

Every issue you leave unaddressed has a hundred percent chance of resurrection. Ask all the questions in courtship so that your marriage does not become a mountain of issues. What you call “grey areas” can quickly turn into dark spots if you do not ask the right questions. Ask the tough questions now.

I know a couple who had to settle the issue of tithing before they agreed to marry. What happens when your spouse thinks that the woes in marriage are happening because you are not tithing? What happens when you feel your spouse is being archaic paying tithes when there are other ‘legitimate’ needs?

A couple was trusting the Lord for the fruit of the womb. The wife’s mother brought in a “prophetic soap” for her daughter and told her not to inform her husband. It should be their little secret. Some matters can scatter a home.

Do you know what the Prophet Amos said:

Can two walk together, unless they are agreed?

Amos 3:3 NKJV

If you force it, it will be like the combination of two unequal materials, it may seem to work for a while but when it pulls apart, the tear is worse, and the pain is deep.

“Besides, who would patch old clothing with new cloth? For the new patch would shrink and rip away from the old cloth, leaving an even bigger tear than before”.

Mark 2:21 NLT

To avoid tears, begin to ask the right questions now. Do not assume that it will fade with time. I know you are in love but please, do not walk in blindly. Ask questions.

© temilOluwa Ola, Eruwa

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