COUNSEL TO A YOUNG WIFE (2)
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As we drove out that evening, I was having an internal debate of whether I should talk to my wife or not.
I finally said to my wife, “There is something I would like to tell you and I hope you will not be annoyed”.
We have had our fair share of misunderstandings in our few months of being married.
I spilled it out cautiously, “Darling, I am getting to a point where I am getting afraid of you. Rather than talk with me, you react. It will get to a point where I am scared of saying anything because I cannot predict your reaction”.
I made a discovery that because I did not want to offend her, I was beginning to agree to everything she says even though I was not in agreement actually.
Dear young wife, watch how you react to issues. A silent and constantly agreeing husband may actually be a man who already feels emotionally manipulated.
Do not take pride in giving the silent treatment or the cold shoulders. Give room for discussions.
Do not throw tantrums when you disagree. Do not bottle up issues also. The day you will spill over, it will be too messy.
Talk to your man. I know you want to be careful sometimes and that is why you choose silence. It is not the best approach.
If you do not get to raise it, you will react about it. You will say a lot more without words than you could have said with words.
Talk till it is resolved. Work as team mates not as rivals. Find answers. That is why you are married.
A silent spouse may not be a blessing. It may be a sign that your marriage is collapsing.
I asked a man once, “Why did you not talk with your wife?”. His response was simple, “I am afraid of her”. I was shocked but I understood.
Dear wife, watch your words. Watch how you say things too. Wise words choicely selected will get you more than the silent treatment.
I know keeping quiet is easier but conversations are wiser. Holding conversations can be tough but it is the best alternative.
One of the phrases a man who loves you indeed fears the most is “Darling, we need to talk”. The day is over. He will love to listen.
Talk do not react!