We sat in the car that day and he said to me, “Pastor, today I want to apologise. For the past few years, I never saw or accepted you as my pastor. Today, I want to say I am sorry. I am accepting your role as my pastor”.
I understood perfectly. And it was not absolutely his fault. For the first few years of Ministry, I was also simply running without being thoroughly trained.
If you are close to a Pastor, there are things you must know and settle fast. If you do not settle it, you will walk into offence and it will truncate your relationship with both God and man. It will cause you pain and hinder purpose.
Access is the best gift a man can give to you. If you do not know how to handle it, you will be locked out of your training school.
Michal, the daughter of Saul, the wife of David, knew David from the days he showed up in the palace as that shepherd boy. She saw him rise in the military. She saw her father Saul scheme to kill David.
She knew David in his “small boy” moments. She did not connect to the kingship, priesthood and prophetic dimension of David. The image of that “shepherd boy” never left her. Therefore, when David did his thing in worshipping God, she despised him. She never accepted his priesthood.
Do you know David was on his way home to bless his family and met an angry wife? Rebecca accepted the priesthood of Isaac and barrenness ended. Michal despised the priesthood of David and died a barren woman.
People who are the closest to a Pastor are the ones who despise correction most times. You can hang around grace and it does not smell on you. Why should the son of the prophet die in debt yet his wife ran to the same man he served and got a miracle?
If you are close to a Pastor, double up your walk of honour. You will see their weakness but never take it for granted. You will see faults but do not let it lead you into offence. Remember that they are men. Honour them. Honour is not worship.
This is the rule- Anytime you see the faults, remember that it is because you have access. Access is a gift.
If you are married to a Pastor, it is a tougher demand. It will be pretty hard at times knowing when to relate with him as your pastor or as your spouse- be discerning.
People can share testimonies about how your spouse has been a blessing and you look at your life and wonder if they are simply lying. Some people never stopped seeing Jesus as the carpenter’s son. Know when relationships have shifted. Align with it.
Settle it fast. Choose either you want the Pastoral Relationship or all you want is the friendship and fellowship. They are different realities.