IN MARRIAGE, SACRIFICE FLOWS BOTH WAYS

IN MARRIAGE, SACRIFICE FLOWS BOTH WAYS

Just a few months after our wedding, we realised that Irewamiri was waking up with backaches. We did not know what the matter was for a while. Eventually, we realised it was our mattress. We decided to swap it with a lower bed and a softer mattress. Her complaints about backaches disappeared. We were glad.

We thought the problem had disappeared until I began to have backaches also. Apparently, what brought comfort to her was giving me pain. I did not want to tell her but when it became unbearable, I also had to speak out. 

She mentioned that she could bear the pain of the initial mattress.  I also insisted that I could bear the pain of the new arrangement.  We were both willing to make sacrifices and shift grounds. Our focus was not on ourselves. We wanted the other person to be fine no matter what.

After a while, we found an answer. We settled for a lower bed and a high mattress. But along the way, we were both willing to make sacrifices. 

Marriage is the place where we lay down personal preferences. Marriage would be a bed of thorns for selfish people. A sweet marriage is one in which both parties are willing to make sacrifices for one another.

There are men who are nice to other people but not to their wives. They have sweet words for strangers but scathing remarks for their own spouses. They would willingly hold doors for total strangers but treat their spouses absent-mindedly.

There are women who are quick to meet the needs of others but would not move an inch to spare their finances with their own husbands. Marriage is not for the selfish.

Marriage is the cure for selfishness. It is the altar of selflessness. There is nothing that you have that is your own. Someone said, that when “We” replaces “I”, even “Illness” become “Wellness”. Could it be that your marriage is struggling because “I” has been enthroned? Dethrone it today.

It is not your house, even when 100 per cent of the rent came from you. Yes!

It is not your car, even when you paid for it in full! Yes!

It is not your money. You are only a trustee of what God has blessed your marriage with.

Even your body is not yours! Yes!

Why did you marry each other? Why turn what is meant to be a pleasure home into a torture villa for yourselves? Kill selfishness.

Hear Paul’s admonition:

Philippians 2:1-4 MSG

[1-4] If you’ve gotten anything at all out of following Christ, if his love has made any difference in your life, if being in a community of the Spirit means anything to you, if you have a heart if you care—then do me a favour: Agree with each other, love each other, be deep-spirited friends. Don’t push your way to the front; don’t sweet-talk your way to the top. Put yourself aside, and help others get ahead. Don’t be obsessed with getting your own advantage. Forget yourselves long enough to lend a helping hand.

temilOluwa Ola, Eruwa

There is love in sharing

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