YOUR SPOUSE IS NOT YOUR COMPETITION 

It happened around Yaba in Lagos State. It was still a bit early in the morning. We parked, waiting to connect with someone. Then we saw the most unusual scene- it has not left my mind since then. 

We saw a man and a woman who wore the same attire drive by in a car at speed. The unusual thing was that they were both struggling for the car’s steering wheel. It was strange. We knew something was wrong. 

When we eventually left that spot on our way out of Lagos, we saw the car. It was already involved in an accident, and the occupants were nowhere to be found. It was strange. 

Let me begin with prayers today: If your marriage seems to be under a spell, especially where a stranger gains from the animosity between yourself and your spouse, I declare the spell is broken in the name of Jesus! You are free from enchantment and divination!

Beloved, why are you competing with your spouse when you are meant to complete, compliment, and complement one another? Why do you tell your children terrible things about your spouse so that you can win their attention? Even the kingdom of demons is not divided against itself. What’s the competition all about? 

Why on earth do people have to know from your suggestive talk and illustration that you are the one who earns more? You have become financially manipulative. You now use money as a tool of control, intimidation, and manipulation. Do you know that makes you a witch in training? Those are the three ingredients of the work of the flesh called witchcraft. 

Paul told the Philippian church that: 

If you’ve gotten anything at all out of following Christ, if his love has made any difference in your life, if being in a community of the Spirit means anything to you, if you have a heart, if you care—then do me a favor: Agree with each other, love each other, be deep-spirited friends. Don’t push your way to the front; don’t sweet-talk your way to the top. Put yourself aside, and help others get ahead. Don’t be obsessed with getting your own advantage. Forget yourselves long enough to lend a helping hand. (Philippians 2:1-4 MSG)

See that simple list. If you practice it, your marriage will never become a battleground for relevance and superiority where you spill emotional blood: 

Don’t push your way to the front.

Put yourself aside.

Help your spouse to make progress. 

Don’t be obsessed with getting your own advantage. 

Forget yourself long enough to lend a helping hand.

Someone said that when “We” replaces “I,” even “Illness” becomes “Wellness.” If “I” replaces “We,” “Wellness” will become “Illness.” 

Beloved, why are kind words so scarce in your home? Why has patient endurance flown out of the window? Why do hurtful words fly with ease? Ah! You have wounded each other so much that you call it irreconcilable differences. 

Can the wounds be healed? Yes! If you come under the fountain that flows from Emmanuel’s vein and you drink your fill from His fountain of love. It is always a game changer. If you touch His love, you will love exactly like He does and make the best out of your spouse. 

Your marriage can move from a mirage to a miracle. It is possible. Are you willing?

Grace!

temilOluwa Ola, Eruwa.