That evening when my friend returned to her base, I spoke with her mum. The question asked was loaded, “Pastor, I thought you were going to follow my princess home”. I apologised but I knew there was no way that was going to happen. We got pretty close, we bonded as friends, and we loved each other but our direction was not the same.

Amazingly, we got to settle the silent affection we had for each other months later when she asked, “Why did you not ask me out?” I smiled and responded, “Because I knew our direction was not the same”.

For the time our friendship and growing bond lasted, it was almost a struggle to let go. Destination has destiny in it. You are not emotional about your destination. You do not follow a friend for a leisure trip to find out if it will be fun when you have an appointment with destiny.

Some people say, “When I followed you into this marriage, there was no plan to become a pastor”. That has caused challenges in many homes today. Even if the picture is not clear, please marry someone who loves God, hears God, and cannot but obey God.

Can two walk together, unless they are agreed?

Amos 3:3 NKJV

Beloved, settle direction before you invest your emotions. Count the cost before you start what you cannot finish.

For which of you, intending to build a tower, does not sit down first and count the cost, whether he has enough to finish it— lest, after he has laid the foundation, and is not able to finish, all who see it begin to mock him, saying, ‘This man began to build and was not able to finish’?

Luke 14:2830 NKJV

The kingdom pattern of bonding is first spiritual, not emotional and it must never be sexual. The world has it the other way. Once you start sleeping together before marriage, you have placed the cart before the horse. It is a disorder.

Here is how Apostle Paul wrote it to the Philippians:

Look at how much encouragement you’ve found in your relationship with the Anointed One! You are filled to overflowing with his comforting love. You have experienced a deepening friendship with the Holy Spirit and have felt his tender affection and mercy.

Philippians 2:1 TPT

When the spiritual foundation is solid, this will begin to happen:

So I’m asking you, my friends, that you be joined together in perfect unity—with one heart, one passion, and united in one love. Walk together with one harmonious purpose and you will fill my heart with unbounded joy.

Philippians 2:2 TPT

Discover your journey before you carry someone along. Settle where you are heading before you ask anyone out. It must be direction before emotions.

Some relationships that started in the University do not last after school because direction was not settled first. Settle direction first!

Dear man, where are you heading?

Dear woman, where are you following him to?

© temilOluwa Ola, Eruwa

There is love in sharing

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *