Just as I drove to the gate of the estate where we lived, the Holy Spirit said to me, “Go back home and apologize”. I made a U-turn. I returned home and apologized immediately to my wife. Interestingly, I did not even know that she was annoyed until the Spirit of God pointed it out.
Friends, no matter how much our world underplays spiritual things, a strong marriage is built on the foundation of the couples relationship with God and their ability to master His voice.
There are times I would ask my wife in the midst of a conflict, “What is the Spirit of God saying to you?”. In annoyance, she would shrug away my question. But when I ask after the conflict, she would say, “The Spirit of God told me to apologize but I only wanted you to feel the pain I felt too”. We would both have a good laugh.
You cannot carry on for a day without talking to your spouse and still claim that you are a believer- that is absurd. You cannot say hurting words and carry on as though nothing happened. Does not your heart burn within you?
I remember raising my voice once on my wife in the midst of a conflict and I was already apologising even though we had not resolved the issue at hand. Do not keep on justifying nonsense. It is either you have a yielded heart or a hardened heart.
And by the way, the Holy Spirit can teach you to be romantic. Everything in marriage will test the fruit of the Spirit in your life. You will love when you do not feel like it. You would have to be patient. You would know that your spouse is not the source of your joy. You will not burden them with a responsibility that is not theirs.
The Holy Spirit will nudge you in the area of your weakness. Your heart will almost pound out of your chest until you hold the hand of your spouse and say “I am sorry. I love you”. Your grand-standing will turn to a broken heart. Pride will be replaced with humility. Ego will fly out of the window. You will hold your peace when you want to actually scream.
What makes your marriage strong is not the gifts of the Spirit, it is the fruit of the Spirit. You can speak in tongues and the Holy Spirit says to you, “My friend, go and fix your mess”. That takes walking in love.
If the devil begins to attack your personal devotion, you will soon notice that you are becoming indifferent in your marital responsibilities also.
I remember grumbling once about my wife and the Lord said to me, “Whatever is wrong in her life is your responsibility”. I was shocked. Well, I took my place and began the work of the “bridegroom” and “husband-man”. Or does both names not show that you have an assignment to nurture? Focus on your assignment and stop grumbling.
Remember, except the Lord builds a house, the builders labour but only in vain. It takes wisdom and understanding to build a house. Do you know that there is the Spirit of wisdom and understanding? You cannot build a great home without the Holy Spirit.