BUILDING STRONG MARRIAGES (4)

That evening when we returned from the engagement ceremony of my Aunt. Mum made an unusual request. She wanted Dad to help her clear her dishes after eating. Dad obliged. Once Dad returned, she told him that she cannot see him again. Her sight was lost. Daddy lifted up his hands and she did not know the number of fingers. Daddy sobbed.

At that moment when it seems all came to a standstill and hearing her lover sob, she asked, “Are you crying?” Dad held on to her two hands. He lifted them up and touched his own eyes and said to her, “From today, these are your eyes”.

First, if your marriage will be strong, there is something you must settle and that it is the fact that you own nothing. You have nothing- not even your body. It is not your house. It is not your car. It is not your money. You cannot say, “Pack out of my house” or “You cannot go out with my car”.

One of the things that has killed marriages is that self-centred singles become self-centred couples. If yourself and your spouse both have a selfless heart and a committed mind, you will both realise that you keep outdoing one another in expressing love.

Second, marriage is still “for better and for worse”. There will be rough moments on the road- broke days when there is nothing yet your emotions cannot fluctuate with your bank balance. It is so easy to know when some men have money and when they are broke. It is written on their faces and perceived by their mood.

My parents did not want that night but challenges (just like opportunities) do not give you notice. You cannot even pray against them. They are part of life’s equation. They simply arrive as guests. You must know how to treat them. You must be prepared before they come.

There is now a generation that is arising that has been told that “once you confess it, it will all just be good”. Even if you confess it, it will only all work out for your good. And that is if you are prepared to master it.

You cannot build a great marriage when you have an exit plan. You better tell yourself before marriage that “I am in this to give my all” and be sure that your partner is on the same page.

Homes have broken because a spouse lost a job. Some have broken because another had a terminal illness. Some have broken because the other had an accident and they could no longer endure it. Some homes break and parties become unfaithful because there is no child yet!

If you know that marriage is a covenant and you understand what a covenant is, you would know that indeed it is for better and for worse, for richer or poorer, in sickness or in health and till death do us part!

There is love in sharing