BUILDING STRONG MARRIAGES (7)
I was away from home for a couple of days. On one of the days, I did not get to call my wife early as I would usually do. When I called her, the first thing I said was, “I am sorry I did not call early”. And her response made me fall in love again. She said, “I am sorry. I should have also called”.
You cannot build a strong marriage when you have a strong and needy sense for entitlement. You cannot build a strong marriage when you are not willing to give what you crave to have.
Marriage is sweet when both parties are givers and forgivers. Can you imagine both of you planning a secret surprise for one another for your anniversary? Can you imagine that as you were saying “I am sorry”, the same words drop from the lips of your spouse?
Grand-standing does not help in any way. How many times have you gotten what you wanted by giving the silent treatment? Afterwards, you now get annoyed because your spouse did not read your mood. Your spouse is human and (s)he is not the Holy Spirit.
My wife could have become annoyed that I did not call as usual early in the morning and begin to imagine how I am becoming unfaithful and worry herself over what does not exist. Then she could have said, “I would not even call him”
But the same way I was carried away with work, so she was also. She was not playing the blame game. She simply took responsibility also for the issue. Blame shifting is never honourable. You cannot paint your self as the Saint and your spouse as the evil one. Take your portion and work on it.
By wisdom of communication, a house is built. By understanding that there will be moments of disagreements, a house is established. Through knowledge of how to respond to your spouse in all things, a house is filled with treasures.
A wise spouse would do all it takes to build the home. When all hands are on deck building the home, which finger would you use to point accusingly to another?
Most times, the things that make us feel insecure are pains and hurts from the past. If you grew up knowing infidelity in close range, you will become suspicious of everything that seems to look like it when it is not it. So once he does not call, he must be with another woman.
Heal fast. Do not allow your wounds from the past disturb your bliss in the present. Remember, marriage is made up of two givers and forgivers. Outdo one another in expressing love and forgiveness. You cannot overdo it.