CHRONICLES OF PROCESS: “YOU BOTH ARE SMART” (A counsel to intending couples)
The day after our wedding, a dear one called and we responded that we were already in the place we chose for our honeymoon. We were to be there for the whole week. She said to us, “You both are very smart. We did not have any honeymoon. We just went back home to continue life and we had spent all we had on the wedding. It was a rough start”.
One lesson that you must learn early as an intending couple is this – Do not feed everyone else at the expense of your new home. What is the essence of making an expensive cake and then getting home to an empty kitchen for the next month while you await your next salary? That is an expensive joke.
My dear ones, sit down and plan your wedding according to your capacity and not according to Daddy, Mummy, Uncle, or Aunt’s wealth. If you are to have a wedding based on what you earn, you know what you are capable of.
Have you ever asked yourself if those willing to spend for your wedding have ever sat down with you to even ask for your plan for your future? Have they ever written you a cheque to say “We have 5 million saved for your wedding but we would rather give it to you to invest?”
It is amazing how the pressure to feed people will produce the money you never knew was there yet your business idea that you have discussed with the same people has not gotten a response of any support. We are willing to spend more on pleasure than on purpose.
Should you throw a party? Yes! If your net worth and network can carry it and you desire it. But make sure that the capital of a great life and marriage is not resting in the belly of men on its trip to the septic tanks of history.
One of the huge gifts we got as a couple is what became the capital for the first business that my wife started. Till date, we still get profit from the machines we invested in.
I know a couple who at the end of the first month of their wedding, the company where the husband works started having challenges with paying salaries- it was a rough ride for the young couple.
Do not ever plan your life on promises and the dreams of others. Do what you can afford. If you have support, take it with joy but make sure it is not at the expense of your new home.
Focus more on your home than on the stomach of men and the dresses that will fade.
Your home is blessed! May your marriage be sweeter than honey.
temilOluwa Ola, Eruwa.