I was away for a week-long meeting. On the day I arrived, it was such a huge moment with Irewamiri and the children. Some hours later, I got a mail from my wife. I was surprised. I read through and it highlighted the areas that she was grateful for in the journey of our marriage.

She spoke about how great a husband I had been and I was blushing reading the mail. At the end of the mail, she went on to highlight areas that she wanted us to work on as a couple.

It was tough reading through the loving “knocks and kicks”. It was easier to take in because I had highlighted some of the areas in self-appraisal a few days earlier.

Dear husband/wife, one person that will see your weak spot is your spouse. You must be willing to listen to your spouse. They may say it in words and a tone that you do not even like, pick the good intention behind their concerns and decide to make adjustments accordingly.

I am not even perfect in this yet also. It can be tough accepting some feedback but even when you fail by reacting wrongly initially, be quick to apologize for reacting negatively while you then seek to understand what is being said. It will help you both to communicate better.

Feedback must be given in love and proactively. There are things you should overlook till you find the right time to talk about it or a moment when you can talk about it without the tone of anger or sentiments. You must remember that it is first about your husband or wife. Do not let issues kill the warmth. Love each other as you talk through the issues.

The rule is you are either responding or reacting. If you bottle up issues, you will react. If you want to spill it out spontaneously, you will also react. Know what you overlook. Find the right time and atmosphere for a conversation and build a strong relationship with your words and your warmth.

It will look and seem hard at the start but keep learning. Be quick to apologize when you are wrong.

Words are powerful building tools. Words can construct or destroy! Choose what it will do in your marriage.

Do you know you can ask God to bless you with the right words?

“And pray for me, too. Ask God to give me the right words…”
Ephesians 6:19a NLT

temilOluwa Ola, Eruwa

There is love in sharing