I made my considerable share of mistakes as a young minister. They were flowing out of genuine passion that lacked guidance and accountability. Financial issues were a touchy ground for me as a husband and pastor. 

There was a time when I would use our money or Irewamiri’s money to settle ministry bills. It was a form of soft loan. Afterwards, I would return it (mostly the same month). That was how things were month in, month out! 

One day, we were with our spiritual parents, and Irewamiri asked our spiritual father about the matter. I was scolded and rebuked, but I was also taught and instructed on what to do. From that day on, family and ministry finance had a great switch. Till date, we do not borrow. We are not pressured. We run a principled financial life. There is ease.

Most people (especially men) are either on two ends when seeking help: First, there is the end of “I do not want to bother anybody stemming out of shyness and timidity.” The second end is the angle of “I can handle things myself. I do not want anyone to know what I am struggling with.” It can stem from ignorance or pride. 

No matter the side of the spectrum that a man is on, there are always consequences. A man’s journey is longer when he lacks the necessary tools and handles to tackle life’s issues. Such a man has hidden frustrations. 

Refuse to believe the lie that only weak men seek help. Jesus was on His way to fulfilling the life assignment of dying for us. When the soldiers saw that he was getting tired from carrying the cross, they found a man to help carry it. There are times when the best of us will need help. It is not a weakness to ask for help. Ask questions rather than stay in ignorance or foolishness for years.

The truth is that it is men who seek help that ends up great. 

So his fame spread far and wide, for He was marvellously helped till He became strong.

II Chronicles 26:15b NKJV

Helped men become strong men. If you hide your pain, shortcomings, struggles, weaknesses and troubles under a thick layer of macho skin, it can end up eating you up. 

Frustrated people frustrate other people. 

Hurting people hurt other people.

Stop transferring aggression. Ask for help. 

Ask questions. Relieve yourself of the unnecessary burden. You are no less a man because you asked for help. Great men need great help! 

Ask! Be genuine. Be humble. Ask questions. When it comes to sin and addictions, “I can handle it” has never handled it. 

© temilOluwa Ola, Eruwa.

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