HERE IS HOW TO BUILD A SUCCESSFUL MARRIAGE

I grew up using the New General Mathematics textbook. One of the things about holidays was the pages of mathematical sums we would get to solve. I had a childhood friend whose parents got an extra-lesson teacher for on both Mathematics and Further Mathematics. We often get to read together in his Dad’s hospital. 

Often, he would take through the mathematics tasks with ease. While I am still struggling with it, he has settled it. I devised a means to get an answer. If you have ever used New General Mathematics, you will know that answers to the tasks were always at the back of the book. My parents taped it off. It changed nothing. I would spread it open like a hole and peep to get the answers. I would then return to sums to tailor the equation to the answer I saw. I still failed most of the time. Why? Mathematics was never about “wuru-wuru” to the answer. 

It was easier for my friend because he attended school normally, where we are all taught but he also had access to a teacher who taught him one-on-one. 

Friends, life is like a school. In school, you have teachers who teach you with examples. Afterwards, they test you with classwork. You subsequently have corrections while in class. There will then be assignments or homework. When you are trying to solve the assignment, and it is difficult, you remember the examples, the classwork, and the corrections. You apply all you were taught and have seen to get it right. If all seems not to work, you return to the teacher in class. 

Marriage can also be like that. People who have not seen an example of a great marriage are doing all they can to build a great home. How do you build what you have not seen? Most homes are run like experiments. It is a trial-and-error method. It has some hits and many misses. 

A marriage without examples will run on default mode. A marriage without a teacher will struggle to figure it out. When life’s tests hit, you will struggle to pass because you have no example and no teacher to show you classwork and help with corrections. 

A couple who think they are smart and neglect the voice of trainers are bound to fail or, at best, be average. Some things are not about prayer points but simply humility. A godly man or woman must be taught. Paul told Pastor Titus to emphasize a solid mentoring system in his congregation. Train men and let older women train younger women. 

I know your beginning may be small, but your latter end should significantly increase. But calm down and read that Bible verse again now: 

And though you started with little, you will end with much. “Just ask the previous generation. Pay attention to the experience of our ancestors. For we were born but yesterday and know nothing. Our days on earth are as fleeting as a shadow. But those who came before us will teach you. They will teach you the wisdom of old”. 

Job 8:7-10 NLT

Did you see it? Just ask the previous generation. I know you are praying, but where are your teachers? Wisdom of old will help you. Pride will “humble” you. 

I have examples of godly parents who have a great marriage of over 40 years, but I still struggled until I saw the need for trainers. Our marriage leaped to new heights. Without examples, you build anyhow and without teachers, you will struggle. 

May the eyes of our understanding be enlightened.

©️ temilOluwa Ola, Eruwa.