On the journey to marriage, we had to embark on family visits. There were quite some opposing voices already. They had legitimate fears about our intention to get married. In the heat of it, we visited an elderly one. He did not mince words when he said to me, “Are you sure you will not be a liability to your parents?”

He knew I was in ministry in a small town, and his sister was concluding her service year. His concern was valid. I did not get angry a bit. I said something like, “Sir, I am grateful that you are concerned about us. By the grace of God, we would not be a liability to them. It is a joy of a good parent to help their children find their feet, but it is the responsibility of a wise son not to lean on what his parents can give without growing. Sir, we may start small, but we will grow”.

It is important to note that all men must be honoured. Apostle Peter said it:

Honour all people. Love the brotherhood. Fear God. Honor the king.
I Peter 2:17 NKJV

Everyone has a natural inclination to defend their own from any form of threat. When you understand this, you will realise that what is about to infuriate you is exactly what you could have done if you were in the same shoes. You may even be a harder nut to crack. Do not get offended at the posture of your in-laws sometimes.

Ask the Lord for wisdom to give the right answers to tough issues. There is power in wisdom-filled gentle answers:

Respond gently when you are confronted, and you’ll defuse the rage of another. Responding with sharp, cutting words will only make it worse. Don’t you know that being angry can ruin the testimony of even the wisest of men?
Proverbs 15:1 TPT

People do not get offended by just what is said but also by how it was said. Watch your words. Every time you give the right answer, you can end up winning a friend to your cause. Arrogance will repel favour and people from you.

Never join your spouse in insulting their family. It simply means you have permitted your family to be insulted. You will lose the moral right to react the day it is your family’s turn. Dissuade them from dishonour. Be firm. Insist that your spouse honours her parents and siblings.

Moses’s Father in Law gave him one of the greatest administrative counsels in his ministry. It was a restructuring that shaped his life.

Do not try to prove a point to anyone. Love genuinely. Know your boundaries. Respect them sincerely. Disagree if need be but do it with honour.

Your home is colourful when you are blessed with the wisdom to answer tough questions. Do not let questions and queries annoy you. Answer with tact. Anger will reduce your worth. Wide answers increase your stature before men. Choose wise answers.

temilOluwa Ola, Eruwa

There is love in sharing