At a point, I was getting pretty close to a young lady. We practically spoke every day. Do you know the kind of relationship where you both know you are on to something but you both are not talking? I knew it was going nowhere. Why? There was no way this lady friend of mine would ever choose to settle in Eruwa. But the challenge was we were getting pretty close by the day.

At that moment, I knew I needed the help of God. I asked the Lord to help me deal with the emotions I had built towards her. He did. He taught me that “Communication is the raw material for building relationships”. I began to reduce the information that I gave her. The calls reduced. It was not easy but it all ended up dying a natural death.

Beloved, finding your purpose in God helps in making critical choices. My call and assignment became the litmus test for anyone that would marry me. It was the sieve. Decision-making becomes easier when the direction in life is already settled.

If you were not ready to go all the way with God and what the Lord had called me to do with my life, there was no reason to try to make things work.

If you come to me and you say, “Let us go out”, my question will be “Where are we going?”. No matter how much you love the person, you must settle the question of direction. The test of friendship is the direction and not emotion. I am certain it is the same in marriage also.

Second, you must ensure that you do not groom whatever is not the will of God for you. Do not get entangled in what the Lord has not ordained even if it looks good. Make sure you stay clear of emotional engagements.

You can have great friendships but the boundaries must be well defined. Do not start lying to one another and calling each other “bestie” when you have begun to cross the lines sexually with inappropriate touches. Run!

If you are married and you discover that you are getting attached to another person, ask for help. Do not hang around a person you are getting fond of. A man rubbed with fuel must not hang around a fire. It will consume you.

Guard your heart with ALL diligence. That is where the issues of life flows from (Prov. 4:23). If you ever think the devil cannot use these things to deceive you, kindly note that the first thing about deception most times is thinking or saying “I cannot be deceived”. Be careful you may already be deceived.

There is love in sharing