Years ago, I still remember where we sat as I shared the gospel of Christ with her that evening. I admired her strength but I noticed her mood swings. I had a prompt to speak to her about Christ. I did but she had a question for me:

She called me my nickname back in the days and added, “I am no longer a virgin. What is the big deal if I now keep sleeping with other men I get to date?” It came like a thunderbolt. I kept quiet for a moment. I had not handled such a direct inquisition before. I needed the help of the Lord. My answer then is still my encouragement to someone today:

(Warning: This applies to both males and females. There is a way we think virginity is just about females).

First, your sexual history is not an excuse for you to settle for less. The devil wants to lie to you that since you are no longer a virgin, you have nothing good to offer and nothing to keep again. Can you imagine a driver saying, “Since I have bashed my car in an accident once, then I will keep bashing my car anywhere and everywhere. It is no big deal”. You see how deceptive the devil is now?

Second, God has not changed his standard but He has supplied you with grace through Christ Jesus. God has called us not just to virginity but to sexual purity. The will of God is that we stay sexually pure. You can be a virgin and not be sexually pure. God’s standard is higher than that. God wants us to abstain from sexual immorality. So you cannot be sleeping with ” imaginary girls” and still be claiming purity. Once it is committed in the mind, it is the same as the actual act! That’s how high God’s standard is.

Third, your history does not mean you deserve less than the best. This is the trap! The devil makes you feel like you can no longer marry a godly man or woman because of your history. Do not believe that liar. Even Rahab the prostitute married Mr Salmon who gave us Boaz who married Ruth and gave us Obed who fathered Jesse who gave us David! Your best is in God. In God, your finest opportunities show up! If you permit God, He will heal your heart and set you up for the finest journey of your life. Do not look for someone who has a similar “bad boy or bad girl” history so you will have counteraccusations when things go south.

Finally, ask the Lord for grace.

Therefore, my dear brothers and sisters, stand firm. Let nothing move you. Always give yourselves fully to the work of the Lord, because you know that your labor in the Lord is not in vain.
1 Corinthians 15:58 NIV

Your patience will not be in vain. Your self-control will pay off.

Stand firm!
Let nothing move you.

You deserve the best!
You will have the best!

There is love in sharing