As I drove on the Lekki-Epe Expressway making my way into Victoria Island, the sounds of the tyre as it romanced the road is still ringing in my head. I knew it would be a bit of a tough night. I was to see my fiancée’s elder brother and his wife. He had constantly shown Irewamiri that he did not want her to settle with that pastor somewhere in Eruwa.

He asked a couple of questions but the one that his wife asked was enough to expose a lazy man. It was tricky, intelligent and could sniff out a man who had no future. The question was simple, “Pastor Temi, please describe your typical day”. I knew what she wanted to do. That was the question that won her heart and made her a major voice to convince Irewamiri’s brother.

Beloved, you do not need a lot of material things as proof that you can take care of a family. You need a diligent road map that shows that you are not a lazy youth, that you are a man or a woman of vision.

When I was answering that question seven years ago, I was guaranteed to earn just five thousand naira only every month. I was not on any salary. I was living by faith. But I was hard working. I had a future and it was obvious that the future was not blurry.

If your entire plan is still wrapped in “I hope to” or “My brother said” or “Dad and Mum said that” or “Our relatives abroad are”, you have no plan. Do not bring any woman into your confused state.

If you are a woman, you must also show that you are a person of vision. There must be proof that you are not just sitting down and waiting for a man to come and pick up the bills.

The Song of Songs made us know that being responsible is a major criterion for marriage:

The bride to be here showed a sense of responsibility. She cared for the sheep of her siblings. And Yes! She had a vineyard also.

Don’t stare at me because I am dark— the sun has darkened my skin. My brothers were angry with me; they forced me to care for their vineyards, so I couldn’t care for myself—my vineyard. Song of Songs 1:6 NLT

When two dreamers marry, they will suffer. It takes two vision-driven lovers to build a vision that becomes a pride of their time.

The bride to be was abreast of the business of her lover also:

Tell me, my love, where are you leading your flock today? Where will you rest your sheep at noon? For why should I wander like a prostitute among your friends and their flocks?
Song of Songs 1:7 NLT

She never wants to be caught playing “irresponsible”. She would not want to be a wanderer. She lived her life on purpose.

Can you describe your typical day?
Are you working towards a purpose?
Are you building a vision?

If there are signs of laziness, deal with it now!

There is love in sharing

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