The moment I drove in, my girls ran to me. I was holding a small nylon. The first thing they began to do was to ask, “Daddy, what is this?” I refused to answer. Then I said to them, “Greet me first”. Afterwards, I responded. 

There are other times that they would begin to search for any package that was brought inside. If it is your birthday gift, they are in a hurry to unwrap it for you. To teach them delayed gratification, we would tell them to hold on till we are ready to unveil what is inside the packs. It was always a tough wait but it was our way of training them. 

One of the signs that a man is untrained is a lack of self-control. If he is in a hurry to see what is behind the pack without going through the necessary process and fulfilling scriptural vows, he is untrained. 

Let’s take a quick look at the process in Songs of Solomon: 

A man who is in love with a woman (some are lust though) will see those attractive features- the shapes, the curves, and all: 

Your neck is like the tower of David, built with courses of stone; on it hang a thousand shields, all of them shields of warriors. Your breasts are like two fawns, like twin fawns of a gazelle that browse among the lilies. 

Song of Songs 4:4-5 NIV 

But a man that is trained knows there is such a thing as self-control, accountability, responsibility, and waiting: 

Until the day breaks and the shadows flee, I will go to the mountain of myrrh and to the hill of incense. Song of Songs 4:6 NIV

Did you see “I will go”? It is not “I will touch” “I will fondle” or “Can I caress you?” Or “At least we did not have sex”. It is “I will go”. 

Did you see the two locations he chose? 

First, is the Mountain of Myrrh. Myrrh was one of the gifts given to Jesus that was symbolic of his death. A trained man must die to “self”. A trained man knows that he has to attend his burial service when it comes to sin (and in this case, sexual sin). He is not praying in tongues and has “tongue-tasting” with sisters. He is not scheming to get hugs with the motive of “tapping current”. He is dead to “self”. 

Second is the Hill of Incense. Although Myrrh is one of the ingredients used in sacrifices in the temple. Incense already tells us that priesthood is involved here. 

A trained man takes his priesthood seriously. He does not joke with devotion to God. He knows that priesthood flows when it is unstained. A simple stain hinders the flow of fellowship. He does not kill his conscience while he carries on satisfying his flesh. 

Dear sister, do not get into a trap because you do not want to marry a boring brother. Romance is an art. It can be learned. Becoming a priest is a spiritual thing. Such a man must be born-again. Self-control is a fruit of the Spirit, it cannot be learned. You cannot motivate a dog to become a man. Salvation is a change of nature and not a self-improvement package. 

Hear this: A man with the waiting power before marriage is the one with the staying power in marriage. A man who sins with you before marriage will likely sin against you in marriage. A man who runs his hands all over you now will end up ruining you. It is about self-control. 

Dear man, will you go to the Mountain of Myrrh? Will you climb the Hill of Incense? Let God work on us as we trust to be better men.

There is love in sharing

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