In the early days of our marriage, we had to have a very important conversation. As we drove out that night, I was already contemplating whether to talk to my wife or not! At
that point, I was almost scared of her reaction to
I simply blurted it out, “Baby. I need to tell you this and
hope you would not be annoyed”. She adjusted and

I said to her, “Darling, I am getting to a point where I think I am
becoming afraid of you. Rather than talk, you react. It
may get to a point where I will be scared of saying anything because I cannot predict what you will say or

I made a discovery: Because I did not want to offend
her, I began to just agree with what she wanted or says
(even though I did not agree within me but I was
scared of her reaction).

There are homes with silent disagreements but who keep patching things up for the “sake of peace”.

Married folks, know this today: A silent spouse is not always a
blessing- your family may be on the verge of a breakdown. He or
she may just have withdrawn to his or her shell.

There are silent husbands- they feel ‘manipulated’ by the wife’s
attitude but they are quiet. Danger! Danger!

There are silent wives- they feel intimidated by the husband’s
assertiveness but they keep shut. Danger!

My wife and I can now talk freely- our attitude to issues has changed. We broke that wall.

There are silent wards also- Dad and mum never want to listen to them.

Find a get-away time with your spouse- unbutton your heart.

You can use my words, “I think I am getting afraid of you. I want to
love you and not fear you, can I talk with you?”
Then sincerely express matters and listen to your spouse or even
wards too!

Do not take pride in “Whatever I ask my man, he does for me” or
“She is very submissive. She does not argue”. Watch it. It may not be a good sign.

When Reuben slept with Bilhah, Jacob did not say a word but the day he eventually spoke, he laid a curse on a Rueben.

When Absalom heard that Amnon raped Tamar, he did not say a word. The day he eventually reacted, he murdered Amnon.

Silence is not proof of submission. Silence is not proof of agreement. The devil may be building an evil plot looking for the right time for willing executors of his deadly plans.

Close the gap between yourself and your spouse. Leave no gaps! Have a conversation today.

temilOluwa Ola, Eruwa

There is love in sharing