The husband fell into adultery. The husband confessed to the wife because he wanted to be accountable, free from sin and also rebuild the trust he had lost. It was a huge mess for him and the family. The wounds ran deep. The wife could not believe it. This is is a Godfearing husband but where did he get it wrong?

Things got better and the marriage was seemingly becoming stronger except for a little factor: The husband kept trying to show the wife that he was no longer into playing adultery games. He tried to be as transparent as possible but the wife still had some suspicion.

At a point, the husband had to say to his wife, “My dear, I am trying all I could to show you that I am no longer in the mess and would not go back there but if you keep reminding me of my past because of lack of trust, there is no way I can be of help there. It is something you need to deal with. The lack of trust is eating me up”.

The toughest thing to regain or build when it is lost is trust. Trust is so delicate that the moment suspicion walks in, trust walks out. But when your spouse falls into a mess and they are doing all they can to regain your trust, there are things you should do:

First, admit that you will have trust issues that may colour your decisions. Do not just assume all is well. Anything that has been broken will need healing. Do not try to cover the wound. Admit that you are wounded. Go to God in prayers for help. Talk to relevant persons who can help also. Your pastor who is blessed with the spirit of counsel can be an objective third party.

Second, you will fight your fears. Fear will always create what it has imagined. When trust is lacking, if your husband or wife takes a coloured candy or drink, you may end up thinking they kissed another person. Fear will create room for what it has imagined. It is what you meditate on that will blossom. If you meditate on your fears, you will create room for it to blossom. There is nothing that fear constructs that faith can reside in.

Third, do not keep opening up old wounds. When decisions are being made, stop using the past as a bargaining chip. You cannot keep bringing up the past and automatically expect to see a great structure of faith and trust. When you use the past as leverage for decisions, it will reopen the old wound.

Finally, do not do things that have been propelled by fear. For instance, you cannot begin to keep things from your spouse while you hide under the guise of ” Who knows what he or she is doing now?” Or “Let me safeguard my future before someone ruins it”. These are thoughts that show that forgiveness and healing are lacking.

In the name of Jesus, I pray over every home that is going through trust issues: May the healing power of God touch your marriage and home. I pray wholeness to your marriage. Every crack is repaired. Hope is reignited. Pains are healed. Life is restored. We kick out the devil and his schemes. We pray for hearts submitted to the leading of the Spirit of the Lord. Amen.

temilOluwa Ola, Eruwa

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