YOU ARE NOT IN COMPETITION WITH YOUR SPOUSE

We were about to wrap up a church hangout for couples when a dear one raised a matter. Someone said to his wife, “Work hard and make a lot of money for yourself because money changes men”. He said his wife told him, and he has not stopped thinking about that statement. We all had an open conversation about it.

First, do not let fear be the motivation for what you do as a married person. As good as that counsel sounds, it introduces the spirit of rivalry into your marriage. It will kill transparency. Whatever room that has been created by fear can never be occupied by love. Why? Wherever love is perfected, fear has no place. Wherever fear is king, torment reigns supreme.

Second, dear husband, do not give your wife any reason to take such a thought seriously. Make sure you do not do things that create room for mistrust. Give her reasons to be able to say boldly, ” My husband is not like that”. If you make space for doubts in her heart through your actions, such a counsel will look attractive to her.

Third, dear husband, do not forget that your spouse had dreams and aspirations before meeting you. Give her wings to fly. Make sure she has the permission and support to live her dreams. A woman fulfilled in living her dreams will have no reason to fall victim to such strange philosophies.

Dear wife, the most challenging part of the biblical submission is financial submission. Do not just think, “It is my money. I can do whatever I like with it”, while you expect your husband always to be transparent financially. It must be transparency between the two of you.

Any couple that is not having a conversation about their finances is not having any conversation at all. One of the most challenging conversations in marriage is the financial conversation.

The ego of a man is tested when money is involved. It takes all humility to admit, for instance, that you need financial support. Do not get angry when you are financially low. Talk about it. It humbles you, but it saves your marriage. Since you have been touchy, so your wife will not mention any financial needs; how has it helped?

Go to her. She loves you. Tell her how it is not with a tone of pride but out of humility. You will see why one rib made an entire woman – the creativity will emerge. Her help-meet anointing will be activated. Your bond will be better.

Marriage is a covenant. It takes the two of you to make it work. Do not go solo because of a seed of fear planted in your heart.

I hope it is clear?

temilOluwa Ola, Eruwa