Two of my friends planned to have a time-out. They had booked a dinner at a restaurant. They wanted to spend time with each other. Interestingly, right after placing their order, they began to press their phones. Then it occurred to them that instead of spending time with one another, they were pressing their phones.

They decided to categorise their phones as third parties from that day. They dropped their phones and listened to one another. Afterwards, their phones do not get to their bedroom. They keep them out. It was an intruding third party. What was their rationale? If their phone was to be a person, would it follow them to their room? It was a visitor. It must stay where visitors stay. Their decision helped their marriage. It helped their bond.

This is a tough one but a needed conversation. If your phone is already taking your attention away from your spouse, it is time for serious introspection and drastic decisions.

You may not know this by yourself. You may need to ask your spouse. It takes humility to accept feedback. Ask questions like:

Do I focus more on my phone than I spend time with you?

Do I give you half-hearted answers that show that I am not listening? (Answers like “hmmm” while my hands and eyes are on my phone)

Are there times you have said something to me more than once that I did not hear you until you tapped me or you called my attention?

Are there times you have tried talking to me that I did not even hear at all that you left me to my phone?

Do I come back from work and go straight to my phone without focusing on you?

Does my online business have a closing time, or do I keep working even at odd hours that have affected our family time?

Take a time out and get honest answers. Your hearts cannot bond when your attention is already stolen.

The devil steals attention before he destroys affection. The enemy’s agenda is still to steal, kill and destroy (John 10:10a). If you are honest, your marriage can enter into the realm of the abundance of life again.

How will you treat your phones from now?

temilOluwa Ola, Eruwa

There is love in sharing