We had to step into a marital situation that was degenerating. By the time we got to ask questions, we had realised that it was a phone issue. It was shocking how a simple issue can fester to become so gangrenous. The husband insisted that his wife could not and must not touch his phone. He said he does not touch her phone, so she should also respect him by not touching his cell phone. It was strange.

I have heard even pastors say to women that they have no business with their husband’s phones. They sternly warn that the wife should stay away from the husband’s phone for peace.

First, marriage is the coming together of a man and a woman as ordained by the Lord to be “naked and not ashamed”. Nakedness means nakedness. If you have a property your wife can not touch, you are not different from an occultic person who has a room a woman should not enter.

If you are not willing to be open, it is better to stay single. There is nothing about your life that should be a secret affair. There is nothing about your life that should be shrouded in secrecy. Nothing!

In wisdom, an adage says that “You do not hide from the person who will bury you”. The friendship in your marriage must be seamless so that everything can be shared. Your bond must be so borderless that you begin to think and act alike.

Wait! There are times that I am the one responding to chats on my wife’s phone, and there are times she is the one responding to mine. It could happen like that sometimes. We laugh over it as we take on each other’s roles at times. It is fun.

Does it mean we do not respect each other? The most profound form of respect is trust. It means I have nothing in my life that she has to worry about, and she has nothing in her life that gives me any concern.

Why must your phone’s password be like the combination lock of a strong room? What are you hiding?

Follow these simple rules:

  • If I have to hide it, I will not do it.
  • If I have to explain it, I will not start it.

Now, this must be addressed- What is your motive for checking your spouse’s phone? What is your reason? Is it the fear that they are cheating on you? If it is the fear, an innocent chat will look like an extra-marital affair. You will keep asking questions like, ” Who is this…?” Or “Why is this person saying this?” Your insecurities will kill your home. Work on your self-esteem. Deal with your fears.

Before you get married, it is wise to ask your prospective husband or wife whether their phones will be a competition. Small flames can burn down huge forests.

Do you remember the simple rules?

  • If I have to hide it, I will not do it.
  • If I have to explain it, I will not start it.

temilOluwa Ola, Eruwa

There is love in sharing