A dear sister suffered heartbreak and found solace in the hands of a childhood friend who had been asking her out. She did not heal before committing to a new relationship. 

One day, she had a reason to visit her boyfriend – he was ‘sick’. She broke all her rules that day. She drank alcohol for the first time in her life and she went all the way fornicating. 

When guilt, shame, and condemnation caught up with her, she called the young man to inform him that such should not repeat itself. The young man smiled and told him that they were both adults and that what happened between them was not and should not be a big deal. That was the end of the relationship but things took a worse turn afterwards. 

One major question to ask is: “Do we share the same values?” This is very important. Where values are the same, decisions are easier to make. 

We thank God for Mary who kept herself sexually pure and remained a virgin. But have you thought deeply that we must also be grateful for Joseph? I honestly believed that Mary was chosen not just because she had the right values but because she was betrothed to a man who shared similar values. 

First, Joseph was a man who would not make rash decisions. He was not a man to make hasty conclusions. He had a heart that loved the Lord. Another man may have thrown Mary under the bus. He thoughtfully made decisions. 

*Then Joseph her husband, being a just man, and not wanting to make her a public example, was minded to put her away secretly. But while he thought about these things, behold, an angel of the Lord appeared to him in a dream, saying, “Joseph, son of David, do not be afraid to take to you Mary your wife, for that which is conceived in her is of the Holy Spirit*. Matthew 1:19‭-‬20 NKJV

Second, Joseph was sexually disciplined. He made sure he did not touch Mary during the period of her pregnancy. She delivered Jesus as a virgin fulfilling the prophecy. Another man may have said, “Since you are already pregnant, what is the big deal in having sex at least I have saved you from shame by marrying you. Will you still deny me sex?”

*When Joseph woke up, he did as the angel of the Lord commanded and took Mary as his wife. But he did not have sexual relations with her until her son was born. And Joseph named him Jesus*. Matthew 1:24‭-‬25 NLT

Finally, he was not a man who struggled with obedience. Can you imagine if he had hesitated when the angel of the Lord warned him to take the baby and the mother to Egypt? What if he was a deep sleeper? What if he had business deals he felt he would settle first? He did not even wait till morning. He left that same night.

*After the wise men were gone, an angel of the Lord appeared to Joseph in a dream. “Get up! Flee to Egypt with the child and his mother,” the angel said. “Stay there until I tell you to return, because Herod is going to search for the child to kill him.” That night Joseph left for Egypt with the child and Mary, his mother,*

Matthew 2:13‭-‬14 NLT

They escaped the wrath of Herod that night. What a great deliverance. 

Listen, *if you marry anyone with a poor value system, your home, life, marriage, and the life of your children become porous*. 

If you marry Achan, a man who steals to enrich himself, you will not be spared when judgment speaks. If you marry Jezebel, you must be comfortable with shedding innocent blood and consulting multiple ‘prophets’. 

Did you get the lessons? 

temilOluwa Ola, Eruwa

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