BEYOND “I AM IN LOVE” 15: CAN HE OR SHE BE THE FATHER/MOTHER TO YOUR CHILD?
I remember the story of a woman in labour. Her husband was not around. All she did was lay curses on the man. It was a painful sight to behold. The only time she stopped was when the Matron gave her a firm ‘friendly’ response. I could not but wonder the bitterness that had accrued in her mind towards her spouse.
Your choice of whom to marry is not just about choosing a husband or a wife, it is also a generational decision of who will parent your children. The conversation changes when you start to think generationally.
Beloved, when you make that decision on who to marry, remember that it is not just about being tall, dark, handsome, or curvy. It is also an audition for who will be a father or mother to your children. Are you sure that person will do a great job in raising another generation?
A man must have beyond the capacity to impregnate, he must be able to raise another generation. A woman must not just be beautiful. She must also have transferrable values.
Think about Timothy and what Paul wrote about him:
when I call to remembrance the genuine faith that is in you, which dwelt first in your grandmother Lois and your mother Eunice, and I am persuaded is in you also
II Timothy 1:5 NKJV
When you marry, you are choosing a flow of virtue and values. What will flow from that person to your children? For Timothy, it was a flow of genuine faith. Do not discard this important area because of the chemistry you feel.
Marry a man like Amram and a woman like Jochebed. They can see the seed in a child. They are seed spotters and not seed killers. Can you see that lifestyle of faith in him or her?
Marry a man like Manoah. They are men who will press in to ask the right questions about a child. Manoah asked the angel:
“What will be the boy’s rule of life, and his work?” Judges 13:12 NKJV
Be careful that you do not marry someone who will eat your children when the pressure of life mounts. Rather than make sacrifices, they sacrifice the child. Does he or she have a sense of sacrifice? Check this. It is important!
Marry a man who will be there and not just one who thinks that the only duty of a father is to drop money now and then for upkeep. If the question he will keep asking is, “Did I not drop money for this and that?”, you may need to check again. If you know what absentee fathering does to a generation, you will not touch it with a long rod.
Marry a man who will command his children after him to follow the way of the Lord like Abraham. Do not marry a man like Lot who will sacrifice his virgin daughters to be abused and raped while he defends men who do not need his help. Can he father a generation? Can she raise a generation?
Every time we look at our children, we see the importance of marrying right. We see the importance of having the same set of values. There is no home as sweet as that where Dad and Mum are saying the same thing based on biblical principles.
There are homes today where the man is fighting and bribing the children for attention and the woman is poisoning their hearts too so she can have the edge. What a home!
Think again: Can that fine man raise a generation? Are you satisfied with what will flow from her to your children? Have you seen those two-year-old babies with adult makeup before at children’s parties? Have you seen those young boys already showing traits of violence? That is the flow of some people. What will flow from your choice?
© temilOluwa Ola, Eruwa