BEYOND “I AM IN LOVE” 7: ARE YOU ATTRACTED TO HIM/HER? 

I was shocked when my mum (who is deeply spiritual, tongue-speaking, and in the generation of baby boomers) asked me a question that I had never given thought to. We were in her kitchen that evening. She dropped the bomb: “Temi, what do you love about her body?” 

I was caught off guard. I had never thought about it. I did not think any of it mattered at all. She said, “Think about it. Physical attraction to your wife is also very important”. 

You must be physically attracted to the person you want to marry also. I know there are times we underrate this aspect but it does not mean it is not important. 

When Adam saw Eve, he knew she was a gift from the Lord but the words he uttered betrayed his attraction to her, “She is the bone of my bone and the flesh of my flesh”. He saw the beauty and wrote ‘the first love poem’. There was something to be ‘wowed’ about. 

In the story of Abraham and Isaac, you would notice that both Sarah and Rebecca were attractive. They were so attractive that heathen kings wanted to add them to their harem. Physical attraction is also important. 

Listen beloved, if you are not comfortable spending five minutes with him or her, how on earth do you think you will spend a lifetime with him or her? Do not rationalize things. Ask yourself the hard questions now. Are you attracted to the person you want to marry? 

Attraction is not just about the body. Attraction can be based on the level of intelligence also. Can you carry on a conversation with him or her? Remember, one key to bonding is communication. Some men cannot discuss anything with their wives. It nauseates them. They are not excited at all. 

To date, those close to me know that I can scream, ‘I miss my wife’ or ‘I long to see my wife’ every time I am away from her. 

Attraction is important.  It is a divine wiring. When Solomon wrote Songs of Songs in the fourth chapter, he documented his physical attraction: 

He saw the eyes and hairs. 

You are beautiful, my darling, beautiful beyond words. Your eyes are like doves behind your veil. Your hair falls in waves, like a flock of goats winding down the slopes of Gilead.

Song of Songs 4:1 NLT

He saw the nice dentition and the smile. 

Your teeth are as white as sheep, recently shorn and freshly washed. Your smile is flawless, each tooth matched with its twin.

Song of Songs 4:2 NLT

He saw the lips and lovely neck.

Your lips are like scarlet ribbon; your mouth is inviting. Your cheeks are like rosy pomegranates behind your veil.

Song of Songs 4:3 NLT

If you read that chapter, you will see how clear his descriptions were. Attraction is key. 

Are you attracted to him or her? Are you excited to see them? Remember, you will be waking up by their side for the rest of your life. Make your decision calmly, clearly, and wisely. 

temilOluwa Ola, Eruwa