While I was working towards my second published book, I was trusting the Lord for resources to print. The first person to give me anything at all was Irewamiri. We were still courting. She walked up to me that evening and said, “I want to give you this seed for your book work”. It was ten thousand naira. I cannot forget. 

I remember how my Grandfather in the Faith told me that I must not marry anyone who does not believe in or agree with God’s plan and purpose for my life. He warned sternly that if I did, I would be frustrated for the rest of my life. 

Can you imagine you are tied to someone not heading in your direction? Can you imagine being connected for life with someone who is not sensitive to your needs? 

Let’s use Boaz as an example. When Ruth came into his field, he perceived that there was something about her most likely but he was also willing to help her achieve her dream of putting some food on the table for Naomi and herself. 

Boaz ensured she was comfortable. There are simple courtesies that everyone should learn. She is coming to field the first, he ensures that she is not trying to figure it out. 

Now Boaz said to her at mealtime, “Come here, and eat of the bread, and dip your piece of bread in the vinegar.” So she sat beside the reapers, and he passed parched grain to her; and she ate and was satisfied, and kept some back.

Ruth 2:14 NKJV

Boaz gave to her when she knew. She had an awareness of the kind deeds of Boaz. 

Also he said, “Bring the shawl that is on you and hold it.” And when she held it, he measured six ephahs of barley, and laid it on her. Then she went into the city.

Ruth 3:15 NKJV

Boaz would never take advantage of Ruth. He did not talk her down when she mentioned her desire to him. He preserved her self-esteem and dignity. 

There is a way someone will speak to you and you will feel like you do not know what you are doing with your life. Boaz was not that kind of man. If he or she is talking you down or battering your image, you may need to flee! 

But Boaz also gave when she was not aware. He saw that one way to be a blessing was to ensure she was fine. He instructed his workers on how to relate to her. 

And when she rose up to glean, Boaz commanded his young men, saying, “Let her glean even among the sheaves, and do not reproach her. Also let grain from the bundles fall purposely for her; leave it that she may glean, and do not rebuke her.”

Ruth 2:15‭-‬16 NKJV

When you marry anyone who does not believe in or support what you do, it is just a matter of time before you start hiding things you are doing or about to do from your spouse. You will build houses that they are unaware of. They have hidden accounts that is meant to cater to those areas where there is disagreement. 

It is not a position you want to be in. The greatest harm is that you will be married but you will not be friends. The subtle effect of that is if you are not careful, you will likely get attracted to a third party who has those qualities you desire. 

Please watch it. 

temilOluwa Ola, Eruwa

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