In the early days of my parent’s marriage, they had my Dad’s mum and younger brother living in the house with them for a season. During those days, issues began to brew gradually. My uncle would not do anything and would expect to be served like a king while my Grandma would give him support while trying to intimate the woman of the house. 

One evening, my Dad could not take it any longer, so he called his mum and said to her, “If my younger brother would not be willing to help and serve in this house, then he cannot stay with me” and he then dropped the bomb for grandma by telling her: “Kindly get ready. I will be going to drop you in your husband’s house where you can command and decide whatever you want”. That settled the whole matter. 

We thank God for culture and the way it shapes but it comes with his limiting factors. That is why you hear a tribe saying that there is a tribe that they cannot marry from. There are times when clans within the same tribe already have sentiments and biased conclusions about themselves. They say a tribe is prone to greed, stubbornness, pride, laziness, or anger. They have stereotyped people. 

The joy of marrying a believer is the peace of mind you have knowing that Christ is bigger and way better than culture. A Christ-man or woman knows that he or she is not merely a cultural person. 

A cultural man would justify polygamy. A Christ man would never be caught near such a thought. Why? They know that Christ emphasized the original model and intent of God for marriage. They follow the Christ Standard of “One Man and One Wife”. They know that any other things else are answered by, “From the beginning, it was not so”. 

A Christ man knows that he must love his wife like Christ loved the church, laying down his life for the church, grooming and sanctifying the church until it is ready as a lovely gift. A cultural man does not think that way. A man who is merely rooted in culture will treat you like the model he has seen. He wants to be served rather than serve. He demands respect rather than earning the respect. He becomes the “lion” of his own family. There is no air of freedom, peace, or joy once he is around. The atmosphere is stifled. 

A cultural man competes with rather than completes his wife. He will keep her down so that he can rise. She must remain small so she can stay in check. A Christ man knows that love does not envy. His insecurities are dealt with in Christ. 

A Cultural Man will use Headship to oppress and harass. A Christ-Man knows that he is a head under submission to Christ, His head. He knows that he is a man under authority. He thinks, talks, and acts as such. 

A man in Christ knows that even though He is the head, the body must not feel the weight of the head. The day the body begins to feel the weight of the head, sickness has set it. When you are whole, your head is there without feeling it but when you have a headache, the head begins to announce and show its weight. 

Hear what Paul said: 

Don’t become so well-adjusted to your culture that you fit into it without even thinking. Instead, fix your attention on God. You’ll be changed from the inside out. Readily recognize what he wants from you, and quickly respond to it. Unlike the culture around you, always dragging you down to its level of immaturity, God brings the best out of you, and develops well-formed maturity in you.

Romans 12:2 MSG

Some people have become so well adjusted to culture that they fit in without putting it side by side with the Word of God. 

What kind of man is he? Christ Man or Cultural Man. 

temilOluwa Ola, Eruwa

There is love in sharing

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