A dear teacher and mother in the faith shared the story of how the Spirit of the Lord taught her to be tenderhearted towards her husband. It became a huge lesson for me. Here is her story:
She just finished cleaning up the living room one day. She had a toddler already. She stepped out of the living room to do other things. Before she returned, her toddler had messed up the entire place that she just took care of.
She got angry. But before she knew it, her toddler came towards her smiling and wanting to hug mummy. She smiled and carried her son. At that moment, the Holy Spirit asked her: “Would you do the same if it was your husband that offended you?”
That set the tone for her relationship with her spouse from that day.
Beloved, how quick are you to forgive a wrong? Since your spouse have been asking for forgiveness, what has been your response?
Do you find it comfortable to hold a grudge for a day or weeks or even months?
The proof of the tenderness of your heart is how quick you are to forgive a wrong. The longer you get to argue with the prompt to forgive, the harder the ground of your heart becomes.
You can choose the level of tenderness:
Some forgive even before they are offended. They have made up their minds that nothing would ever make them get or stay offended. It does not matter if the offender asks for forgiveness or not. They take it as a command of the Lord. That is the divine level.
Some forgive only after the offender has asked for forgiveness and after the hurt has gone. They want to be begged and placated until they feel fine. For them, it is about their feelings. A lot of marriages are on this level. That is the carnal level.
Some will not forgive at all. They always keep making reference to the weight of the hurt. They are seeking for means for vengeance also. The rule is “I have to pay you back in your own coin”. They are not satisfied until they see the other party also in pains or hurt. That is devilish level.
Forgiveness is a command. Healing is a process. When you forgive, healing is easier. How do you treat a wound that you have closed up? Open it up! Let the Lord touch that wound in your heart. He will heal you.
But how quick do you forgive your spouse?