CELEBRATING EIGHT YEARS OF CHURCH IN ERUWA: LESSONS MY FATHER TAUGHT ME (2)

This is about my marriage and who I marry- I had requested to see him so I could inform him about the direction I sensed about the woman to marry.

That lovely Friday morning in the month of June 2013, I announced to him what I sensed about a young lady in church. He told me two things that I can never forget:

“Son, I have no doubt that you hear God. Be sure that you have heard from Him. Second, never marry a woman who does not believe in God’s vision for your life. You will be frustrated for the rest of your life”.

I took that lesson and ran with it. I was sure that I heard God but I needed to clarify the vision test also. I went probing intelligently and I knew the young lady was God’s choice for me.

If you want to go fast, you can go alone but if you want to go far, you will need others. As a person of vision, one of the most important persons in your life would be your spouse. It is not a casual decision and it must never be taken casually.

If you are married already, you will know the intense burden you carry when you are not on the same page with your spouse on any issue let alone when you constantly disagree about vision.

If you are young and unmarried, subject your process to the wisdom of fathers. This is timeless wisdom that will save you from a lifetime of regret and frustration. Do not be proud.

Before you propose, seek counsel. As you court, see counsel. After marriage, do not outgrow counsel. If you are called into ministry, your marriage is a major springboard for support and strength. Do not joke with that choice.

Marry someone whom you respect deeply (not out of carnal things like the money he earns) but because of the value that flows from him or her.

There are many days that my wife does a great work of checking and balancing my thoughts, counsel and teachings. All she needs to say is, “Are you sure you needed to say it that way?” I have learned to listen to her. It has helped greatly.

Be sure that you have heard God. Remember, does he or she believe in God’s vision for your life?

If you are married and you sense that you are always at loggerheads and you feel drained already, you may have a lot of work to do but both of you must be willing to pay the price.

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