CLASSIC SERIES: COUNSEL FOR YOUNG HUSBANDS (5)

My teacher looked at me that day and said, “For the first two weeks of our marriage, we did not have sex”. I was wondering what the problem was with him and his wife!

Did you fight? So what were you people waiting for? What happened? I did not understand.

Then he smiled and said, “We spent those two weeks studying each other’s bodies. If I have to spend the rest of my life with her, I need to know her”.

What a shift!

Many people think that you must go straight from reception to some hot spicy bed with rumpled sheets and screams and shouts. (Laughs!)

It is a school you go to: do not be in a hurry to see her naked. If you had a courtship without sexual sin, congratulations.

Ask her to show you different parts of her body while you do the same- the sensitive parts.
Explore one another! Learn.

Sexual fulfilment in some marriages ended on the first night because uncle was in a hurry.

Know her before you know her!

Sexual fulfilment is not magic. If you do not get it right first, do not get worked up. Laugh at your novice attempts. Talk to your mentors. Let them walk you through it.

Dear brother, I know you have been waiting, but hot food can burn the mouth too- fan it till it is ready!

How do you fan? Take your romance away from WhatsApp chats. Try the old text messages again. Tell her you love and appreciate her.

When you pick her up at work (when last did you do that? If you don’t have a car, rent a cab one day), leave a note on her seat or tape it to the glove compartment. Let that note lead her to other notes.

Leave one in the kitchen stuck to the burner, telling her how great a cook she is both in the kitchen and in the room.

Leave one in the restroom. Tell her she is like cool water in the desert sun.

Drop one where she will pick her night pyjamas- Tell her you wondered how Adam concentrated in the Garden of Eden. Let her know she is your sweetest distraction!

Romance does not have to be expensive. You only have to be creative. Sometimes, you will plan it big but daily, make a mark!

Do not get home and shout, “What are we eating tonight?” Ask about her day and listen genuinely.

Earlier in my marriage, the first thing I pick when I get home was my phone. I did not listen to my wife. I paid for it. Drop that phone and listen to her (I still tell myself that till now).

Young husband, building a home is work. Loving your wife is work. Sexual fulfilment is not attained selfishly. It is achieved selflessly!

Go and work on your skills!