In the early days of our marriage, I would complain that I did not like the sight of used plates in the kitchen. Leaving plates overnight was a capital offence in my parents’ house. It does not occur all the time but once was enough to get me upset.
Irewamiri also had a point- she is tired after cooking especially after a hectic day. At times, she sleeps off right after dinner. I decided to step up and get it done and she still did not say thank you- she thought I was doing it to spite her and prove a point.
We also fought over how plates were arranged after use. I would rather have them properly arranged rather than dumped anyhow. It makes it look neater and attractive to wash. She does not care as long as it will end up being washed.
Friends, if you depend on the backgrounds you are coming from or the personal preferences that you have to run your marriage, you will run it down. It will be dead on arrival. Even when the backgrounds are similar, there will be some slight differences here and there.
The perfect template for running a smooth home is yieldedness to the promptings of the Spirit of God. Marriage will test every fruit of the Spirit.
In my family, the kids pick up Daddy’s plate after he is done eating. Meanwhile, I went to my friend’s home one day and I felt they were all rude for allowing that Dad carry his plate to the kitchen. He even stayed to wash his plate. One day, I decided to take it from him, he refused and said, “I wash my plate myself”. Can you imagine if I married his daughter without a heart that yields to the Spirit of God?
Let your home promote Christ and not just culture. The aim of marriage is not to make us more cultural but more Christ-like. A man walking in love knows that there is no big deal in washing plates while your wife cut the onions. When you work as a team especially in the kitchen or doing laundry, the bond increases. You can carry on discussions with words and touches that leave a lasting impact.
Dear man, give yourself a month’s challenge. Stop romancing your phone and remote control late in the evening. Do house chores. It is actually a good exercise. You will be surprised how your woman begins to glow. Your words will even carry greater weight. Your marital romance will skyrocket.
One day the Holy Spirit asked me, “Why do you keep complaining rather than showing love?” I froze that morning. I cleared the sink as I prayed in the Spirit around 3am. My wife can now also pray more because she is not overworked. Our disagreement dropped drastically. Tired people make bad choices. Help each other to strength in all things.
Remember, marriage should make you more Christ-like and not just cultural? How will you know if you are Christ-like? Check the fruit of the Spirit in Galatians 5:22 and 23 and ask if you are becoming better with producing them? Also, check the attributes of love in 1 Corinthians 13 and ask if you are an “Alpha” student?
Are you passing the test of Christ or simply becoming more cultural?